tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-310331412024-03-13T18:33:24.174+02:00Mom de PlumeMom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.comBlogger171125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-31106243379558860312010-03-29T15:05:00.004+02:002010-03-29T17:03:15.985+02:00I said NOW and NOW I meant...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_I1829kqXsRk/S7CmaV28B3I/AAAAAAAAAUc/s-4NsRWRHHQ/s1600/Marvin.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 140px; height: 148px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_I1829kqXsRk/S7CmaV28B3I/AAAAAAAAAUc/s-4NsRWRHHQ/s200/Marvin.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454042120220051314" border="0" /></a><br />How often do you savour the moment you are in? I don't mean stop and smell the roses, who has time for <span style="font-style: italic;">that </span>in the rat race that is life in the Noughties? I mean while you are driving at breakneck speed (well within the legal limit of course) to get the kids to school on time, while you hastily make your way through a loaf of bread providing what passes for packed lunch for the family, while you try to fit being a spouse, parent, sibling, child and unique individual person into your hectic schedule of sleeping, eating and working, in no particular order. Our lives are made up of every moment we live, not the ones that have passed, those are our memories, not the ones to come as they do not exist yet. Now. That's what we have. That is what we are missing if we don't take note of at least some of those rapidly passing moments. I have forgotten about Now, until recently.<br /><br />I was very concerned about whether I had done enough 'living' before settling down to marriage and children. I have. Definitely. But, if I hadn't, what exactly could I do to change it? Hmmm, that's it, nothing. It's passed. I remember it and love it but it is gone now, not to be mourned or regretted, just remembered and learned from.<br /><br />I spent a lot of time mulling over the best choices to make for our family. As they grow up faster than I can comprehend, am I living in the right place, following the right career path, ever going to have a month where paying the bills is less stressful? Don't know. I can do something about these questions, but only if I Live each moment. If I don't interact with my children, I will one day have grown up children I don't really know, if I don't share special moments with my husband I will have a marriage without a relationship, if I don't notice the world around me Now, I might as well not worry about where I am now or where I want to be in the future, as I will not be aware of it anyway.<br /><br />I am happy with Now. In my life Now is an amazing place to be. I am in good health, I have a doting (most of the time) husband, two amazing children, I work from home, I have an awesome support network in my friends who I would not do without, I have someone else doing my housework (!) and minding my children after school, I have a lovely garden thanks to a great gardener, and I have the opportunity to increase our monthly earnings by supporting DH in his ever improving business (y'know, to make those bills a little less scary). I also know that it could all be whipped away in the blink of an eye. So, I am savouring Now.<br /><br />I should think we need an International Now Day, where people get to try it out. Don't stop, I know you don't have time, just savour. I can assure you, you will find happiness in every moment you notice.Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-15485975414981576152010-03-02T08:36:00.005+02:002010-03-02T08:58:23.251+02:00It's about time!I have been maintaining blog silence for the last couple of months for two reasons:<br /><br />1. I have been using up all my words trying to earn a living which leaves me a bit spent.<br /><br />2. I have not really felt like sharing!<br /><br />Do you ever get those days, which turn into weeks every once in a while, when you feel insular? Not in the right frame of mind to interact with others? It happens to me whenever I <span style="font-style: italic;">really </span>need to recharge my batteries. I have been in that zone for about six weeks now and (thankfully) it is over.<br /><br />I felt the need to blog for two reasons:<br /><br />1. Get <span style="font-style: italic;">over </span>yourself, woman!<br /><br />2. My friend <a href="http://goose-mybiggestchallenge.blogspot.com/">Angus</a> has been diagnosed with lung cancer (having <span style="font-style: italic;">never </span>smoked) and he manages to keep up a positive stream of posts keeping all of us who care in touch with how he is doing. (Go over and have a read... he is <span style="font-style: italic;">a very </span>worthwhile read!) Not shutting himself away to recharge but experiencing life and getting the most out of it. So this chica is taking a leaf out of that book of life and getting over herself.<br /><br />So these last few weeks in which I have been keeping to myself I have also been indulging myself in precious time spent with my Mum.<br /><br />Mum and I used to have a tenuous relationship at the best of times, for many and varied reasons. Now we have such a comfortable relationship that while she has been here we have been working at our laptops alongside each other sharing tips, tricks, insight and enthusiasm for our writing projects, getting along like a house on fire! I am a lucky lady! The <span style="font-style: italic;">best </span>part about having Mum to myself is that, when she is not glued to her screen, I have her undivided attention.<br /><br />In the interests of keeping some words for my working day and another post in the not too distant future... that's all for now!Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-13921267780035376532010-01-05T20:42:00.001+02:002010-01-05T21:03:11.324+02:00Timing is everything...Especially when your geyser gets hit by lightning (yes we were sitting about 5 metres from it when it tripped the electricity) on Christmas Eve, and there is no one answering the phone at the 24hr insurance call centre. I guess they don't specify 24/7/365.<br /><br />So that rather loud and heartstopping (and hot stopping) bang was on Thursday evening. By Saturday we were on the last drops of our hot (read tepid) water. So on Sunday we were forced to bathe our hard laboured bodies, with the help of a kettle, in a puddle at the bottom of the bath, prior to settling in for the night. On Monday morning Natal shuddered itself lethargically back into work mode, and we hollered our local electrician. Luckily he was able to get the geyser repaired in a matter of minutes, since the part that was charred to a cinder had a handy replacement in his bakkie. Good thing too, because I do not clean in cold water!<br /><br />So, I mentioned labour weary bodies. You might think that a bit odd bearing in mind that we were on holiday. But. BUT. Sean and I lost our minds one morning and started spring cleaning. By that I mean we emptied 2 rooms, vacuumed them as well as everything in them and put one of them back into the other. One remained in the dining room (I am refering to furniture here, you understand, as opposed to bricks) and the house looked like a bomb site for 12 hours. More than usual that is.<br /><br />The following day was more of the same, I suppose, as we could hardly live as we were then for any length of time. Anyway, this spurt of indecent energy expenditure was brought on by the children being covered in bites from some unknown and unseen monster. They looked like they had some terrible lurgy, but were none the worse for wear (having said that a small drop in their energy levels does not actually register on the hyperactivity scale so perhaps I am wrong here) other than a little itchy. Their old room is always damp due to the large shady trees just behind our fence preventing the sun's warmth from drying it out. We also live in a very humid place so hot days make the floors and walls damp.<br /><br />So, now that our holiday is drawn to a close, we have a whole new home to enjoy. Shannon and Jordan play happily in their new room, whereas they almost never played in their old one, the living area seems so much bigger and more open (it is tiny anyway but the rearranged furniture has created an illusion of space, ha ha).<br /><br />As for the rest, Sean went back to work yesterday to discover that his main welder has a broken collar bone and that the one company he needed to be open is not! They have, locked behind their sleepy doors, the ballustrade he was meant to install this week! Did I mention the lethargy much of the province suffers from in the New Year? Not a great start for BMO, but other than that great things are afoot!<br /><br />I am busy getting Shannon ready for Grade 1, she has learned to tie her shoelaces, write her name and write her numbers this holiday, (of course she is a genius and no, I am not biased just because I am her Mummy... lucky me) so hopefully she will be ready and able to participate enthusiastically in her first year of 'big' school!<br /><br />Jordan is the cutest little thing I have ever clapped eyes on, but it is all a front to his devilish intentions. How difficult to be his doting Mummy!<br /><br />Happy New Year to you, and I have great dreams for all of us for 2010... watch this space.Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-86894205933108935892009-12-23T20:51:00.016+02:002009-12-23T22:38:12.669+02:00A New Year, a new you?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_I1829kqXsRk/SzJw5YKYKvI/AAAAAAAAAUU/1Dz6Byf7Lvc/s1600-h/new-year.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 152px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_I1829kqXsRk/SzJw5YKYKvI/AAAAAAAAAUU/1Dz6Byf7Lvc/s200/new-year.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5418517432720960242" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I have been reminded, by reading a number of other blogs, that I am sort of expected to come up with some New Year's resolutions to help me keep on the straight and narrow in the coming year. Not keen. I must be honest, I really don't have space between the long term goals I have already set myself, and the day to day energy required to keep a household, with an overworked husband and two demanding children, at relative peace.<br /><br />So, in the interests of finding some inspiration, I googled 'New Year's Resolutions' and every single image of a list had something about weight loss on it somewhere. It still amazes me that, with all this determination there are more of us overweight than not! So anyway, we'll stick that in. Resolution number one: lose weight, tone up!<br /><br />Though practically perfect in every way, it turns out that I am a bit of a failure in the domestic Goddess front, but am not yet earning enough of an income (read contributing financially to this here household) to avoid household duties with any real excuse. (YUK) Ok, so there is resolution number two. Get a maid.<br /><br />Hmmm, I guess resolution number three ought to be 'earn enough money to pay for maid', but since that depends on one of my long term goals it is hardly a new resolution.<br /><br />Resolution number four, don't be hurt by other people's, usually incorrect, opinion of me.<br /><br />Resolution number five...<br /><br />Do you know what? I have lots of plans for 2010. Most of them are carry-ons from things I have been working on for a long time, so not really something I can list as about to change as the second hand ticks it's last tock before the New Year, and the rest... well the rest are kind of personal, secret and deep down and I will stick to them because they have meaning to me and mine.<br /><br />I am not a fan of New Year resolutions because I think we should all be constantly striving for self actualisation. I am. I have a looooong way to go, but I try. Daily. And some day I know it will all pay off, one way or another, with or without listing my intentions at the start of every New Year.<br /><br />Since some sort of change is always inevitable, I have changed the look of this blog.<br /><br /></div>Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-84762948401543089442009-12-14T13:04:00.006+02:002009-12-14T13:35:32.117+02:00Christmas memories<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_I1829kqXsRk/SyYix1EsGNI/AAAAAAAAAUM/x01FgBfUO68/s1600-h/109169.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 128px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_I1829kqXsRk/SyYix1EsGNI/AAAAAAAAAUM/x01FgBfUO68/s200/109169.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5415053841415280850" border="0" /></a><br />I have lived in Africa more than half my life and in different life stages, (the first 12 years, 4 in the middle teen years, and the last 5 as a married Mum) and there are certain parts of me that are inextricably linked with Africa. Memories of my childhood, especially, are something I will never let go of, as they give me a sense of belonging, familiarity and something to pass on to my own children. One of my fondest memories is of Christmas in Zimbabwe, surrounded by a Very Large Family (in numbers, not weight) with so much activity, fun, sunshine (yes we still had sunshine in Africa in those days) food, drink and even peace and quiet. Being in the southern hemisphere and it being summer 'n all, there was no snow, and and it was never, never cold. So, to counteract this chilly, rainy day in today's southern hemisphere 'summer' (please can someone explain why global warming is so cold), this is my memory of Christmas in Africa.<br /><br />My Christmas in Africa is synonymous with the daytime heat beating down on sun kissed children playing noisy games, or splashing in the pool outside, under the watchful eyes of numerous mothers; and all the Dads foregoing the sun to watch - read catch a few hours’ kip in front of - the cricket on TV. My Christmas is all about balmy evenings surrounded by family, the constant chatter punctuated by scraping cutlery on crockery and, always, laughter.<br /><br />My dad is one of eight siblings and between them they have 21 children, my cousins, sisters and I, and every year we used to gather on a family farm, or in a resort somewhere in Zimbabwe, to spend Christmas together. We had long tables, decorated in silver, green, red and gold, and festively laid with countless plates, knives, forks, spoons and glasses, sometimes under towering trees in the garden, where we ate our Christmas lunch. There was a mountain of presents and always so much food and plenty of drinks flowing to keep everyone merry. But most of all there was family; lots and lots of us all exuding festive cheer.<br /><br />Now that those children, my cousins and I, have grown up, and some of us had children of our own, the numbers are rather larger, and we are now spread over three continents and at least four countries, so those gatherings are, unfortunately, a distant memory for many of us. A memory that will, however, always be my perfect idea of Christmas in Africa. Now it is time to start making those memories for my children, so that in 20 years they can look back and remember, with great amusement, the things they did for Christmas as children in Africa.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >Image credit: <cite style="font-style: italic;">www.123greetings.com</cite></span>Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-66444554527235317702009-12-03T12:24:00.005+02:002009-12-03T14:05:48.409+02:00Sibling rivalryI am convinced that siblings play a greater part in each other's character building than even their parents do and, though it is far from intentional and often the result of temperament and perception than any specific act, it should not be underestimated.<br /><br />As a child I learned that the best way to avoid feeling like a failure was to do none of the things that my elder sister did. Clare was always more ambitious, more determined and more astute than I so, no matter what natural talent I displayed, if it was in one of her areas of interest, I would always be second best, because she was willing to work harder at it. In some ways it worked beautifully as I did well in the things I chose, in others it may well have backfired, after all Clare is a Dr. of Engineering and I am not anything specific, although writer is the tag I go by now. I think it may also have something to do with vision but that is another blog post altogether.<br /><br />So my questions are: is sibling rivalry a good thing, a bad thing or a bit of both? and how does a mother help her children to channel their rivalry in a manner that both, or all, children benefit, if that is even possible?<br /><br />At the moment the biggest issue I have with sibling rivalry is who got which toy first and the whole 'my Mummy' argument in which Shannon delights as it winds her little brother up no end. Despite the three and a half year age gap they are very close and play together well much of the time. As for the rest it drives me to drink (yes, a large glass of red at bed time) trying to persuade Shannon that at five years old she should know that two different coloured blocks of exactly the same dimensions are really not worth fighting over. Or should she? Perhaps I am unfair and should also admonish Jordan, at not yet 2, for caring which one he has.<br /><br />I am sure that very little harm will come to their developing psychs fighting over lego, however, as they grow older those rivalries will change and I am not sure I will notice in time if one of them is applying my avoidance tactics and pretending that they care less. The downside to that tactic is that it is a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy and the drive, ambition and character they both show now may grow dimmer in which ever of the two is the less dominant. Between you, me and cyber space, though I really dislike predicting how children will turn out as adults since they usually surprise even their greatest critics, I think that it will be Shannon who falls into her brother's shadow. I think her need to needle him is already a sign of her knowing that on some level. How do I help her to choose her own path without losing her self and her way in the process?<br /><br />Perhaps I think too much.Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-76726443202484606052009-11-30T10:33:00.004+02:002009-11-30T10:56:04.670+02:005 things...my children said over the weekend that made me laugh:<br /><br />1. Is it yours Mummy? - Jordan, <span style="font-style: italic;">very </span>innocently, after having been sent to the naughty mat twice for trying to use my make up and not stopping after being asked at least a million times. (No, I am not prone to exageration.)<br /><br />2. But the car is on water pilot. - Shannon when asked if her brother could have a turn pretending to drive while we waited for Dad to come out of a shop.<br /><br />3. Daddy! Look at the pantis! - Jordan regarding the praying mantis (which turned out to be a stick insect) that was entangled in the net curtain.<br /><br />4. Mummy, Shannon's not being my friend! - Jordan... he is not yet 2, I can't help but laugh especially when i know he is just coppering (Shannonism) his sister!<br /><br />5. Hi, my name is Shannon and when I grow up I want to be a Doctor. - Shannon at her preschool graduation. The other girls picked ballerina or shopping lady (!), and Shannon had been 'practising' ballerina the whole time prior, so where Doctor came from I'll never know, but she surely raised a laugh for her efforts! Oh, and of course I will <span style="font-style: italic;">have </span>to hold her to it. She made her bed...Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-30869739189827598622009-11-27T14:17:00.004+02:002009-11-27T18:12:09.867+02:00Happy Holidays???What is wrong with Merry Christmas? Why are all (sometimes pagan) Christian ceremonies becoming taboo? And why, for that matter, is it only the Christian ones that are getting laid off? We aren't frowned upon for celebrating Hanukah, and Diwali is still lit up with aplomb. I can understand that asking a non-Christian what their Christian name is might cause a little embarassment but come on. Why is it that in the western world <span style="font-style: italic;">of today, </span>so many Westerners are afraid to stand up and be counted to the point where we renounce our celebrations in disgrace?<br /><br />I am not implying here that all Westerners are Christians. Far from it in fact. But there are certain celebrations, such as Christmas and Easter that go way back in our cultures, and in fact some stem from Pagan ceremonies, that quite frankly we should just not feel bad about. The problem is that it is not the commercial side of these celebrations that is falling away, but the underlying bits and pieces that make them special. No Nativity plays anymore? In <span style="font-style: italic;">England</span>?<span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>Why not? Because it is offensive to other religions? Am I the only person who thinks this is wrong, on so many, many levels? You are in England, respect their customs and their history.<br /><br />Here's a shocking idea. instead of <span style="font-style: italic;">removing </span>one culture to make others feel better, why don't we just <span style="font-style: italic;">include </span>the new cultures in their own right? Have your Nativity and have your festival of lights celebration too. Culture is not an either/or question. Everyone has a right to their beliefs, rituals, celebrations and ceremonies, why is it so hard to work out that it is better to learn more about other cultures and religions than try to squash them? Especially when the <span style="font-style: italic;">majority </span>of the native population are from that culture. I get that every religion believes they are right and others are wrong, well, if you can't convince others, revel happily in the smug knowledge that you are right, and leave everyone else alone. The world is a small place what with air travel and cyber space and the ability to pretty much live and work anywhere given the required skills. But if you want <span style="font-style: italic;">only </span>your food, your traditions and your religion, stay in your country. If you want to be part of the global community, learn to share. How would it look if the English moved en mass to India and said right, no more Diwali, we find it offends our cultural beliefs? Hmmm, global outcry perhaps?<br /><br />I am not picking on individual people here so if this doesn't apply to you and you are happy to allow all cultures to live side by side, don't go getting all offended. I am not talking to you. I am talking to whoever it is that is rotting this world with hatred and subterfuge, slowly culling other cultures in a way that is worse than the overt violence of history in its deception. Hating and sabotaging me for somethings that prior generations did is, in fact, immature and counterproductive.<br /><br />History has not been kind in this area. I realise that. Gross atrocities were carried out globally by many Western societies, and many, many people suffered. Can we get over it? Can we pick up the pieces and move on now? I had nothing to do with any attrocities, and I am now bringing up the next generation that will have had nothing to do with them. Yet we are still paying now for what people did back then. Come on people, we have one planet here, and it's a tiny one all things considered, can't we find a way to enjoy it? At no one else's expense?Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-73820755853688075822009-11-26T10:02:00.006+02:002009-11-26T14:30:18.012+02:00Say what?OK so, in what could swing from pretentious to self-absorbed and back again like a well wound up pendulum, I have declared myself a writer. Pretentious and self-absorbed I am not, but this is written communication, and everybody (except those who really know me) who reads this blog depends on only words to 'get' me, so how could you possibly <span style="font-style: italic;">know</span> <span>that</span>. Did you know that 55% of effective communication comes from non-verbal cues (facial expression, body language, intonation, etc.). Not really possible to convey non-verbal cues in writing, is it?<br /><br />Determined I am, however, and thus I must learn how to overcome that 55% efficacy that I am now lacking in the written word. I don't actually believe this is possible as there is no accounting for every frame of reference that creates the myriad prejudices that we suffer on this ever-shrinking planet. Far more experienced writers than I cannot overcome the prejudice lens that blurs the decoding of their message by readers for whom assuming the worst is the most natural reaction. Or perhaps those readers are just picking a fight for the sake of it and because they lack the imagination to find something more productive to do with their time.<br /><br />I recently took a long overdue foray into the 'bloggoshpere' to catch up on some of my favourite bloggers and was both horrified and entertained to find just such a thing happening over at <a href="http://pondparleys.blogspot.com/">Pond Parleys</a>. Reading the post from my frame of reference was interesting and entertaining, especially having lived in both the UK and the USA. However, someone took umbrage to <a href="http://expatmum.blogspot.com/">Expat Mum</a>'s dislike for a certain <span style="font-style: italic;">vegetable casserole, </span>and all hell broke loose. I am quite sure EM meant no offense, rather she was expressing a personal taste. How it could have been misconstrued I will never know. But it really, really was. Really. In fact you should go on over and see the fight that ensued. Great reading!<br /><br />Having said that it seems important to continually improve the way we communicate, in writing, over the phone and face to face, since there is a good chance we could be going around upsetting people who are narrow minded enough to presume that their's is the only point of view and that anything said that disagrees with it is so obviously wrong. Or maybe I should care less, afterall you can't please all people all the time.Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-77572308093968674122009-11-25T07:59:00.002+02:002009-11-25T08:25:27.560+02:00HiatusI know it has been a while but I am here. Sitting at my laptop starting on a new journey. For the last three years I have poured much of my creativity, cognitive effort, time and emotion into doing a degree. It is finished now (results not yet in but here's hoping).<br /><br />When I started that degree I had a plan. I wanted to be a psychologist. I wanted to help others improve their lot, make better decisions and follow new paths. I have learnt more than I thought possible, and not just about psychological theory. I have learned about people, what makes us do the things we do, think what we think and feel myriad, often unrealised emotions. I have learned how we impact our social environment and how it affects us. I have learnt a great deal about how societies, communities and groups function and how people are central to that function.<br /><br />I have learnt the art of communication and interpersonal skills. I have assimilated those jewels as they have been realised. What a difference effective commnication can make. I have learnt how to research, how to find the most important facts from an agglomeration of information. I have learnt things that I have stored away for future use and things I have incorporated into my daily life. I have learnt one thing that came as a surprise. One thing that has become part of who I am even though I have only been allowed limited pursuit of it due to my other commitments. One thing that I want to grab with both hands and make the most of. I learnt that I am a writer.<br /><br />So now my journey begins in earnest. I am taking this coming year to focus on making a success of my dream career. Honours will have to wait. I have so much to learn so I better get to it, today is the first day of the rest of my life.Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-25782211196536239532009-09-30T08:28:00.004+02:002009-09-30T14:07:20.043+02:00Tinkerbell and the BoyHaving not been back here for a good few weeks I have a number of interesting developments to update on.<br /><br />Thanks in no small part to the fabulous <a href="http://sooze-coggie.blogspot.com/">Sooze</a> I have finally got a handle on the Boy! I am in disgrace, however as I do not have photo proof as yet, photography being low on my priority list in an increasingly busy life. BUT. But. The days of chasing the Boy down the road, school bags and shopping packets flying in all directions, in an attempt to thwart his escape, have long since passed! Now he gets out the car and is gently coaxed (read dragged) in the general direction in which we are actually headed! Not to mention the screaming boy who attracted those pitying glances from other shoppers as he was manhandled into the trolley seat, who wanted so desparately to get out of the trolley and walk, has turned into the lion satchel toting, independent (though secretly restrained) master of his own universe. I owe you Suzi!<br /><br />This monologue from Tinks... erm Shannon amused me somewhat and I hope I live long enough to see it materialise:<br /><br />Shannon: When I am 165 years old the fairies will give me magic. *dramatic pause* And I'll grow a rat that you can only hold by the feet, 'coz if you touch its back, or its head, or its tail it will bite you. *another even more dramatic pause* And it will be poisonous! *dramatic silence*<br /><br />Since then she has been wearing her fairy wings and skirt at every available opportunity (such as at school today) and insisting on being called Tinkerbell. But NOT Tinks!<br /><br />As for me, I am working as a volunteer at a brain injury rehabilitation centre called <a href="http://www.headway.org.za/">Headway</a> to get some experience and to have something to add to my CV at the end of next year when I will FINALLY be able to start my new career proper and will be looking for a job! I also have exams looming so if there is a longer delay than usual in updating this blog, that is why.<br /><br />Sean seems to be going from strength to strength with <a href="http://www.bmosteel.com/">BMO Steel</a> and, though it feels slow it seems to be growing all the time. At the very least he has not been without work since he started and he is more able now to direct his business where he wants it to go, rather than just following where the jobs come from.<br /><br />Right, I hope you are all up to date enough to go on for a few more weeks... I will add pics of the Boy in his reins when I get round to it!Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-17448036043193766932009-09-02T11:54:00.003+02:002009-09-02T12:24:24.929+02:00Positive discipline and the marble jar<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_I1829kqXsRk/Sp5G3RZcdKI/AAAAAAAAATs/9mBUliH5A0A/s1600-h/JM_marbles_01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_I1829kqXsRk/Sp5G3RZcdKI/AAAAAAAAATs/9mBUliH5A0A/s200/JM_marbles_01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5376812920503825570" border="0" /></a> <span style="font-size:78%;"> <span style="font-style: italic;">Picture curtesy of<br />http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a1/JM_marbles_01.jpg</span></span><br /><br /></div>I know I am often banging on about how things go in cycles and how we should learn to see and anticipate those cycles in order to be most effective. Well, here is another cycle:<br /><br />The cycle of discipline (or the lack of it) in my children. This may well be linked to my cyclical way of life but nonetheless it needs some attention.<br /><br />So we are in a downward spiral of rapidly declining behaviour in this house, which happens from time to time as I relax my expectations and/or lose focus, and the time has come to put a stop to it. I am however, or have been until recently, at my wits end. One of the problems I can't seem to overcome is that, while Shannon is constantly brought to book for her indiscretions on the behaviour front, Jordan has been allowed to get away with a good amount of disastrous behaviour under the guise that he is too little to understand (bad mother). He has been recently subjected to the Naughty Mat, but since he thinks it is a game for me to catch him when he gets up and runs away, I am still figuring his discipline out. In the mean time, Shannon needs to be less victimised and positive discipline has always worked better for her anyway!<br /><br />In discussing this with another Mum, who is also head of a pre-school, she suggested I try the Marble Jar with Shannon. This ought to stop the shouting and offers a positive form of self discipline that I am reinforcing rather than enforcing. This is an age old method, used by many a parent before me, and for anyone who is keen to try it here is how it works(in theory anyway, I have yet to begin!):<br /><br />There are two jars, one for Shannon and one for me, for every good behaviour such as tidying up, listening the first time, getting her own things together for school etc, she gets to take a marble from my jar and put it in her jar. For every bad behaviour, she must take one out of her Jar and give it back to me. Once she has a certain number of marbles in her jar she recieves a treat, like stickers for example (she loves those) and if she get more than the target she gets a bigger treat (haven't decided on that yet, but I think I will ask her for her input!)<br /><br />The fact that shannon herself is doing the rewarding and punishing, in the form of moving marbles, is supposed to lead her to regulate her own behaviour! We shall see. I still have to buy the marbles!<br /><br />I am going to start on Monday as we are out and about all weekend, so it would be pointless starting now. Until then the Naughty Mat will remain a warm spot to sit. I will keep you posted on the success (or not) unless I lose my own marbles in the interim!Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-17266224321584788542009-08-24T08:23:00.003+02:002009-08-24T08:30:32.399+02:00Intelligence vs Porridge BrainHaving recently had a conversation regarding IQ tests and my obvious average-ness, I couldn't resist taking one I found on <a href="http://daviesbugle.blogspot.com/">Super Mom's</a> blog!<br /><br />The last time I took an IQ test I was pregnant and unable to move far or fast... evidently my brain was also on a go-slow... that test labeled me distinctly average.<br /><br />So I took <a href="http://www.free-iqtest.net/iq-score-guide.asp">this one</a> and discovered that now, with my brain only functioning for one, I am gifted! With a blog badge to prove it. What a great way to start a monday!<br /><br />Happy days!Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-67336692449642097842009-08-19T08:01:00.003+02:002009-08-19T08:56:55.345+02:00I got an award...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_I1829kqXsRk/SouiJe1woxI/AAAAAAAAATc/uHgb_GDmFqY/s1600-h/TripleAwardforblog.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_I1829kqXsRk/SouiJe1woxI/AAAAAAAAATc/uHgb_GDmFqY/s200/TripleAwardforblog.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371565264350520082" border="0" /></a><br />I am beginning to believe there <span style="font-style: italic;">is</span> some sort of plan regarding how our lives unfold, things seem to be going madly out of control and then something happens to put it all back on track. Meanwhile a lesson has been learned, a behaviour has been changed and relationships have deepened.<br /><br />Blah blah blah, whatever! I know. I talk too much. Tough.<br /><br />So I was starting to lose perspective on my self esteem and self confidence, for reasons I'll keep to myself for now... but I have been restored!<br /><br />I got an award. My first award in the bloggersphere. Thanks Julie from <a href="http://juliecornewell.blogspot.com/">Julie Cornewell's Writer's Notebook</a>! The award is for having great attitude and/or gratitude...<br /><br />Now I must pass it on and here's how:<br /><br />1. Put the logo on your blog or post.<br /><br />2. Nominate up to 10 blogs which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude.<br /><br />3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.<br /><br />4. Let them know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.<br /><br />5. Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.<br /><br />I would like to nominate:<br /><br /><a href="http://geriatricgapper.blogspot.com/">Geriatric Gapper</a> for living life to the full and keeping us all informed, up-to-date and inspired by life after... ahem... a certain age!<br /><br /><a href="http://daviesbugle.blogspot.com/">Confessions of a (not so ) super Mom</a> for having great insight into normal things and an amazing imagination for the not so normal!<br /><br /><a href="http://potty-diaries.blogspot.com/">Potty Mummy</a> for her hilarious take on being a Mum and a person too!<br /><br /><a href="http://notes-inside-my-head.blogspot.com/">Sparx</a> for being so real, so funny and for finding the positive and the humour in some of the most hair-raising Mummy situations!<br /><br />And last but not least<br /><br /><a href="http://notenoughmud.blogspot.com/">Not Enough Mud</a> for having such an interesting outlook on life and because she ran the London Marathon...<br /><br />On top of this fabulous award came the decision to stick to studying next year, I will be good at helping people and I can always be a writer on the side, and an assignment result that can't be beat... 100% for an essay on education!<br /><br />Feeling more like me again!Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-43618702474937338632009-07-17T14:22:00.002+02:002009-07-17T14:23:05.985+02:00I was chatting to my Mum yesterday and she gently pointed out that I have failed miserably to update this blog recently. Too much work taking up too many words is my excuse. I mentioned that to Mum and then proceeded to tell her of all the antics Jordan has been up to recently... I thought it may as well make for some blogging fodder so here goes:<br /><br />I don't feel it necessary to explain why but for some completely unknown reason I emptied the vacuum cleaner bag onto the grass as the back of the garden, rather than into, slightly less messily, a plastic packet. It made a little bit of a mess!<br /><br />Having vastly more important things to do than pick up vacuum cleaner fluff from the grass I thought I would come back to it later, and I left it. Jordan found it.<br /><br />Mumeeeeeee!!! Mumeeeeee!!! Mumeeeeee!!! had me dashing into the garden to see what life threatening situation the mini monster had got himself into, only to find him, hands clasped behind his back (I kid you not!) staring at the ground. Right near the Fluff.<br /><br />Mumeeeee!!! lor!!! (floor) (Pointing now, so as to avoid any miscommunication!)<br />Oooh yes, look at that, how did that happen?<br />Mess!!!<br />Yes, it is rather messy!<br />way!!! (away)!<br /><br />.....'scuse me?<br /><br />Since when does the mother get told off by the only-just-1-and-a-half year old?<br /><br />That's not the only time either! We have Sean's parents staying with us so, in order to make more room in the kitchen, I reorganised it! I merely swapped the microwave with the kettle and toaster to make more work space!<br /><br />Jordan came home from pre-school and stood in the kitchen, looking from one side to the other. He stood there for a good minute before pointing at the microwave and yelling BACK! Then he pointed at the toaster and kettle and once again yelled BACK!<br /><br />I may not actually be the one in charge in this house after all!Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-86153950023842723422009-06-19T08:31:00.004+02:002009-06-19T09:00:01.461+02:00Catch me if you can!I'm a little sad that no one could answer the questions in my previous post. I have so much more I could ask here but, since I have had no responses so far, and I am not in the mood to become irritating, I will drop it. For now.<br /><br />So, I feel like blogging! Maybe I just feel like writing. On either point I have nothing of value to say so, if you don't suffer fools gladly sign off now.<br /><br />I have realised that I was wrong. (Ha! That caught your eye, you'll read on just a little now, won't ya!) OK yes, I admit it! Once in a while I can be wrong! I defied the experts (mothers with grown up children) who said that it is virtually impossible to be a working Mum, (even from home, part time) and consistently keep up any form of exercise that requires you to leave the house for any length of time! Well I proved them wrong... for a while... and was feeling very smug about it too! I was running 3 or 4 times a week, for about 6 months, getting out, getting fit, still fitting in my work and my kids and I was loving it. It was summer and the daylight hung around giving me plenty of time in the evenings when Sean got home after kids were fed and bathed to venture out and stretch my legs! It's winter now. It's bloody dark by 5 and, being that I live in the relative danger of South Africa, I can hardly go running after dark now, can I! So now I am sulking. Not only was I wrong about the whole time to exercise thing, I am now feeling rather unfit and flabby again!<br /><br />But!<br /><br />Sean has assembled the gym in the garage and my trusty rebounder stands alongside. Perfect in home exercise equipment. Must be time for that. I don't have to leave the house. Well, we shall see, lack of time might be just one excuse better than 'I'm too bloody cold to get changed!' And it doesn't help that my house is at least 3 degrees colder than outside!<br /><br />I know, don't complain about the weather, there's nothing you can do about it! Well, I never complain when it is warm, or hot. Stifling doesn't get a moan out of me. But cold! It changes me. It clamps down on my mind and no amount of positive personal pep talking can budge it. At least in England there is central heating indoors. And Suzi, bless her, has a roaring log fire melting the frosty claws that dare to force their way through her windows and doors.<br /><br />I am unprepared for the cold. That may be my only problem. For now I can't change that. I feel a little rebelious.Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-75560885580947201352009-06-17T09:20:00.005+02:002009-06-17T10:14:58.344+02:00R-E-S-P-E-C-T<div style="text-align: left;">You know when you get the feeling someone is trying to tell you something? When certain 'reminders' crop up here, there and every where? Everywhere you turn the same message is written on the wall? Well, that's been happening to me for about 2 months now! It happened <a href="http://expatmum.blogspot.com/2009/05/good-wifes-guide-1955.html">here<span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></a> where <a href="http://expatmum.blogspot.com/">Expatmum</a> had me in stitches with her take on the Good Wife Guide from the 1950s, as well as in numerous conversations, FWD: emails, on the radio. Everywhere. It all indicates what I am supposed to be doing but not why or how! And let's face it, I've never been good at blindly following rules!<br /><br />I am a modern woman. Can't help it really, it's just part of who I am and I have recently, for whatever reason, been continually reminded that I am supposed to put my husband first as he is head of the household. Really? Is that still true? What of equal partnerships, women being as important as men and respect for each other?<br /><br />Now, I have no problem with respecting my husband, I take no umbridge with the role I play in our relationship, I have no issue with seeing his point of view. But surely he must equally see mine? Have equal respect for me, accept and fulfil his role in our relationship? Is the MAN as head of the house not a little archeaic? OK, I am going to bore you now by saying that I am lucky in that the man I married does not see himself as head of our household. He seems to ascribe to my version of coupledom. We are a team. We make decisions together. If our points of view differ we discuss it (sometimes rather loudly, if I am honest) and we choose the RIGHT option in the end. Not mine. Not his. He plays his role and I play mine. If we both tried to do the same thing half the necessary work would be left unattended. If we both tried to do all of it we would suffer nervous breakdowns. We defined our roles and now we fulfil them. Is this not a healthier way of building a marriage? And as far as I am concerned the children come first. For both of us.<br /><br />Where does it say that a man is superior? Where does it say that a man has better judgement in all circumstances? Where does it say that men and women are not equal? That social labelling was firmly affixed by men. Thousands of years ago. Perhaps because they COULD get out of the home since women were more adept at nurturing than men were. I think that modern marriages would have a better chance of survival if husbands and wives showed equal respect for each other. Just because the man earns the money in a household doesn't mean he does the lions share of the work or has more responsibility. He has a role to play. Just because the woman stays at home (and let's be honest there are not many women who do so anymore with the need for two income households) does not mean she does not play an equal part in the work or the responsibility that makes a family. She has a role to play. Perhaps I have misunderstood the signs? Perhaps there is a flipside to the discussion that says to husbands that they ought to put their wives first? Perhaps by having an equal partnership we put each other first?<br /><br />Defined roles, teamwork, equal effort and equal R-E-S-P-E-C-T are the cornerstones of a successful, fulfilling and happy modern marriage.<br /><br />My biggest question in this regard, I think, is does this mean I am supposed to put my husband ahead of my children and if so how? They are completely different relationships. The love for a spouse requires constant work, the love for children is unconditional. The expectations of the relationship are different and the needs of children differ from the needs of husbands. We do not ascribe to the 'because I said so' or 'becuause I am the Mother/Father' rules of parenting. We believe in respecting our children too, believing that this will teach them that respect is earned and not just given.<br /><br />It seems like it is a moot point bearing in mind that our marriage is already built on an equal footing. But then why the bombardment with the same message? What am I missing here?<br /></div>Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-78637574992854327622009-05-29T09:44:00.005+02:002009-05-29T13:51:43.439+02:00Of hair and being 4When I was a little girl I was blessed with whispy, fly-away, style-less hair, coupled with a high forehead to give an overall slightly odd look at all times. I never really cared, I was not that kind of child! Since then I have tried numerous short styles, settling for the tousled crew cut I now sport. And will for ever more! Hair is just not my strong point. <br /><br />For 4 years now I have resisted the fringe effect for young Shannon, determined that she would eventually grow thick long, blond tresses to be the envy of all. Sadly I think I may be deluded and, though in looks she is just like her Dad, she has the misfortune of having inherited my hair!<br /><br />So I cut it. A short bob with a fringe that seamlessly frames her face making her look oh so much more adorable than she did before. I have embraced the fringe!<br /><br />Shannon was over the moon with her new haircut, which happenend on Saturday afternoon. She couldn't wait to get to school on Monday for all her friends to see. And she was flocked, little girls of four and five oohing and aahing over the new stylish chica amongst them. Shannon came over to me once the parade had ended and said quietly: Mommy, I love you. Thank you for cutting my hair.<br /><br />Then it all went horribly wrong. Yesterday one of the girls in her class said Shannon looked ugly because now she looks like a boy! I was not surprised to hear that this had her dissovling into floods of tears and left her tearful for the rest of the day. Even this morning she seemed not to have recovered fully! One person put her down and now she believes that everyone else was talking rubbish and, in fact, she really looks terrible! Something makes me want to take that little girl and shave her head!<br /><br />Now I must undo the damage to her delicate self-esteem and convince her, once again, that she is beautiful with her new haircut! And not at all like a boy.<br /><br />The thing is, once I am over my protective mother emotions, I am amazed at the importance placed, by very little girls, on their appearance and the need to be accepted. How delicate their emotions really are. And how easily one wrong word can ruin their little world! Once again I had fallen off the attention wagon and assumed that nothing could really be wrong in my babies worlds because I love them. A bit egocentric don't you think? So now, I am more attentive and watchful to ensure they recieve the attention they need from me, while at the same time hopelessly aware that I cannot protect them forever from the big bad world!Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-91724955495777387052009-05-27T08:31:00.004+02:002009-05-27T09:32:34.777+02:00Job requirements... Epic Fail?I've come to a conclusion. I would make a terrible counsellor.<br /><br />I always believed, at least until recently, that I would make a great counsellor: I can see other people's point of view almost as clearly as my own, I worked through my own issues and reached a state of higher understanding about being me, I want to help other people improve their lot and I am a caring and empathic person. It turns out I may be deluded.<br /><br />Behind the above facade lies a whole different person screaming to get out! This person says: get over yourself, pull your socks up and cope! This person prefers to speak than listen! This person judges others against her better judgement. OK, no not really.<br /><br />I really do feel I understand how people work, better than many others do(hmmm maybe I <span style="font-style: italic;">am</span> deluded). In fact I have no <span style="font-style: italic;">real </span>hangups about how or what other people are. I just want everybody to be happy and successful! Oh and world peace wouldn't be a bad thing either!<br /><br />So, where I fail really in the whole job requirements for counsellor story is here: I had an idyllic childhood, I belong to a stable and loving family, I was given a good education and guided through life's harder decisions by parents who knew enough to allow me autonomy, while at the same time making sure I was safe, I am now in a stable, happy marriage and have two children who are adored and provided with boundaries to help them become content and successful adults. OK, so I was a bit misunderstood as a teenager and also tended to misunderstand a lot about the world, but that is more normal than not!<br /><br />So where are my experiences of things traumatic? How can I counsel someone who has been raped, since I have no idea what they are going through? How can I counsel alcoholics or drug addicts when I've not walked a mile in their shoes. How can I help someone who is having a nervous breakdown, if I've never felt the stress that they are feeling? How can I empathise with an abused woman who won't leave her husband, when I've never been beaten or abused? How can I? Not authentically.<br /><br />I am not all out of ideas though. I have had some experiences, that other people have all the time. Some can cope with them and some can't. Those who can't can be shown how to do so and be taught what to expect and different ways to handle it. I am still thinking about it. It is already done. It should be. I'll think about it some more and blog about it when I am ready!<br /><br />When I am qualified as a counsellor I will see if I have anything authentic to offer. Until then, I'll be a writer!Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-34887259207638626192009-05-22T11:41:00.004+02:002009-05-22T12:31:43.751+02:00on cycles, astrology and being meI am done being cognitively driven for the moment and have decided to do a little soul searching. Don't know why, or where I am going with this, so please bear with me! Knowing me it will end up cognitively driven anyway... let's see, eh?<br /><br />Oh, and it's a little long winded so look away now if you are in phase 3!<br /><br />It is quite apparent, and has been for a long time, although I have chosen to mostly ignore the fact, that I work in cycles. This is not just true of me, but also some of my discerning friends who have noticed a similar sense of their own capabilities. Recently I have decided to pay more attention to my natural tendancies and allow them to guide me rather than trying to override them with positive, self-castigating pep talks. The result has been satisfying, interesting and a little frustrating!<br /><br />It sounds a bit bi-polar actually. It's not, just so you know! What I haven't yet worked out is how long I take to complete an entire revolution, but I find myself moving, fairly smoothly from highly efficient, motivated, determined and outgoing to demotivated, almost completely inefficient, not bothered and withdrawn into my shell. As I say, this happens fairly smoothly, so I am not bouncing up and down like a yo yo! Nor is it easy to notice the actual time of transition! The motivated phase (P1) moves to some sort of Zen phase (P2) where, though I find it easy enough to do the things I need to do, I am less bothered if they are not perfect or done straight away, this slowly revolves to the whole can't be bothered, don't care, can't bring myself to do anything productive phase (P3), and then I am on the upward curve again back to Zen (P4) followed by highly motivated!<br /><br />So, what does this twaddle mean, right? It means becoming more intuitive. Listening more carefully to who we are rather than what we want! What it means is that during P1 I can do everything, I can be a great Mum, a brilliant wife, my house is immaculate, my work is finished to a high standard in record time and I am the life and soul of the party. Phase 2 and 4 render me capable of completing all my tasks fairly well, I am perhaps a little less attentive, a little more inwardly focussed, slightly less aware of those around me. BUT. Phase 3, the sucker, makes me desperate for isolation, me time, down time, my housework starts to fall behind, even though I try very hard to force myself to do it, blogging is a no go as my words all seem to dry up, I am impatient with my children and inattentive towards my husband. I have always really struggled with this, thinking things like: what's wrong with me? Why can't I just get on like I usually do? Why am I eating so much (!)?<br /><br />Ok where are we going with this? So, knowing that the cycle exists allows me to understand where I stand with me! How much I can expect of myself and that overcoming it requires careful reflection, planning and knowing myself a good deal better than I do now. So far I have managed to stop fighting phase 3! But, being a Virgo, and therefore desperate for perfection, I still need to find a way to get things done during the down time! So I am now working on trying to figure out just how long the cycle takes. I am currently emerging from phase 3 I think, I may however have just entered it (not completely au fait with this yet!) as things are still a bit of a chore and I am not feeling very life-and-soul-of-party-ish.<br /><br />Yes, yes, I know, off on one of my wierd tangents once again. No! Not this time. It feels right! Knowing our natural selves makes life a whole lot easier as, rather than fighting our natural disposition, the mind will (it has to) start working with our intuition rather than against it. Being in tune with who we are must lead to a happier, more content, more satisfying existence, versus thinking that we can make ourselves feel better through eating, shopping or gossiping. Feel better first... then indulge ourselves!<br /><br />So the crux of the situation is that I am attempting to become more intune with the natural me and take back control from the cognitive me, which is highly dominant! One step closer to perfection! *sigh* (Oh, there's Virgo again!)<br /><br />Anyone else out there got any fabulous insights in this regard?Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-2651852151308188222009-05-21T13:48:00.005+02:002009-05-22T07:35:01.781+02:00I've been away......and there was no internet and the dog ate the computer! That's my excuse for not blogging and I'm sticking to it.<br /><br />Actually it may have more to do with writing other stuff and not having any words left, but there you go. And here I am, back again!<br /><br />Since my last post my Mum has been to visit... and returned to Turkey... and is, in fact, already packing for her next trip, to another daughter. Mum's visiting all three of us this year: South Africa, England then Australia. What a life! We had an awesome time together. The best we ever have, I think. It was great to have her to myself for once since, though those of you who know me may not agree, I am the least talkative of us three sisters! I love to talk, that's a given but, when in a room with my darling sisters, it can be a little difficult to make myself heard sometimes. Just an observation you understand! Mum spoiled us rotten, as is her wont and we laughed and played at being writers, we shopped, we ate chocolate. The dark stuff. Shannon was a little bemused that her granny doesn't knit but, since Mum devised a brilliant game for Shannon to play which involves learning to read without noticing, she got the thumbs up anyway! It was fantastic, come again Mum, but try to bring Dad with you too!!<br /><br />Yesterday I made the huge decision, (I say I made the decision rather than we as Sean put his faith in me to choose and left me to it) at least it feels huge to me, of which school to send Shannon to next year! She starts 'big' school and we have chosen a lovely little school about 3km from home which I am so pleased I went to see as I had sort of written it off thanks to some incorrect information about it. Just goes to show you should always find out things for yourself before making a judgement, even if your source is usually very reliable! So Shannon is off to Forest View Primary School next year - just have to sort out all the paperwork. Ugh.<br /><br />Jordan is growing outwards and upwards but still has only 4 teeth! He is 17 months old for goodness sake! I wouldn't mind so much if he didn't spend so much time <span style="font-style: italic;">trying </span>to grow more teeth! Honestly! Otherwise he is completely adorable and very naughty!<br /><br />Shannon is all long, skinny arms and legs and seems to be having one growth spurt after another. Just as I've restocked the cupboards after one bout of growing, she's eaten the lot again. A little advice, don't buy tights or trousers that fit a 4-5 year old! Rather buy them for a 15 year old and let them grow into them!<br /><br />Sean seems to have really found his place in the world with steel fabrication. He has a lilt in his voice and a spring in his step that I have not seen or heard for a long time! He is still under enourmous pressure from a cash flow point of view, but the work just keeps coming in.<br /><br />And as for me, I have decided to postpone my honours degree for a year (yes, I will have a Bachelor of Arts Degree by the end of this year! How time flies!) in view of being a full time writer! The career of my dreams, let's see if I can pull it off!<br /><br />Well that's it for now! I think we're up to date! So, 'til the next time...Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-8280636753877390842009-04-21T09:29:00.002+02:002009-04-21T09:50:45.385+02:00Word gamesA child learning to speak, starting with the very first words all the way through to trying to get their grammar correct, and the right suffix on a word, is one of the most amazing developmental processes to bear witness to.<br /><br />Jordan is stepping boldly into this world with his version of what he hears and can already, to his mother's ear, say Mummy, Daddy, Shannon (Nana), bottle (bobble), car, play, up (blup), no, yip(somehow 'yes' has eluded him), dog (do), door, (do) - yes I know they are the same, it's the context that alters them - among other things. I watch with facsination as, everyday, he adds another recognisable sound to his repertoir.<br /><br />Shannon, being the chatterbox that she is, is well on her way to talking correctly in every aspect (although she still adds endings that she seems to think make more sense than the real one, or put words in an order that she prefers!) so, in the interests of keeping things interesting we play word games with her. When she was younger this used to consist of the following interaction:<br /><br />Mummy: Shannon, say fossilised<br />Shannon: I can't<br />Mummy: what can't you say<br />Shannon: fothilithed<br /><br />very cute!<br /><br />Then we went through this stage:<br /><br />Mummy: Shannon, say fossilised<br />Shannon: I can't<br />Mummy: what can't you say<br />Shannon: I can't say what you said (got brains that child)<br /><br />recently this has started:<br /><br />Mummy: Shannon say photosynthesis<br />Shannon: photosynthesis<br /><br />Mummy: Shannon say multidisciplinary<br />Shannon: multidisciplinary<br /><br />Mummy: Shannon say metamorphosis<br />Shannon: metamorphosis<br /><br />... when did that happen??? I can't seem to catch her out any more... I need more words people, how can I challenge her diction if all the words are too easy for her? hmmm maybe we should move on to meanings. Shannon's first, that'll bring some interesting ideas to light. Asked what Daddies are made from she replied wood, and Mummies, apparently, are made from water and strawberries! Glad I'm a Mummy!Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-34777416512362024782009-04-20T11:33:00.002+02:002009-04-20T12:33:33.133+02:00Around the world in 80 clicksExciting things are afoot! For the first time in my blogging existence I have been tagged to take part in a meme that's doing the rounds. Thanks <a href="http://notes-inside-my-head.blogspot.com/">Sparx</a> you've made my day!<br /><br />So in the interests of playing my part...<br /><br />Here are the rules: Write a post of your own about 5 things that you love about being a Mum. Tag 5 bloggers - someone from your own country, if you like, but definitely someone from another country - and link back to me here and finally go to <a href="http://badladies.blogspot.com/2009/03/world-according-to-mom.html" target="_blank">Her Bad Mother</a> and leave a comment.<br /><br />Ok, 5 things that I love about being a Mum are:<br /><br />1. trying to make myself believe that these two adorable little beings are there for me to love, nurture and interact with all the time. I am wholly responsible for 2 little people(Eek). Nearly 5 years on I am still over-awed by the fact that I helped to create real little people and who they are, and what they get out of life starts with how much love and interaction I share with them. That's a huge responsibility and an amazing privilege!<br /><br />2. having an excuse to sit and colour in while other adults go about preparing food and doing the dishes. I would really love to help, but the children will all be underfoot and causing trouble if I don't keep them entertained... really!<br /><br />3. seeing life through my own mother's eyes and beginning to understand our relationship from her point of view. This is a neverending chain of changing relationships as daughter becomes mother, and I am part of that chain.<br /><br />4. seeing the world through the eyes of a child and realising that the little things, like chasing butterflies and saying 'I love you' are more important than the hustle and bustle of life in the fast lane.<br /><br />5. getting to see the children's faces when they are given a surprise or a treat that they were dying to have: Disbelief mixed with wow-Mum-is-the-greatest/-magic/-the-cleverest-bestest person in the whole world!<br /><br />So, that's my five and now I tag, in the interests of keeping it international, <a href="http://expatmum.blogspot.com/">Expatmum</a> in the USA, <a href="http://reluctantmemsahib.wordpress.com/">Reluctant Mem</a> in Tanzania, <a href="http://potty-diaries.blogspot.com/">Potty Mummy</a> in Bonny Blighty, my own Mum, <a href="http://geriatricgapper.blogspot.com/">Geriatric Gapper</a>, in Turkey, and because I enjoy her story so much, <a href="http://www.tertia.org/so_close/">So Close</a>, from Cape Town, South Africa. What are your favourite things about being a Mum?<a href="http://geriatricgapper.blogspot.com/"><br /></a>Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-79736808213563085192009-04-16T08:05:00.004+02:002009-04-16T08:22:03.214+02:00Comments 101Right, people. In the interests of making this blog more attractive to NON Family members I have decided to write more posts, more regularly. The idea of a blog, other than to keep family up to date on the goings on in our lives, is to join a whole new community of similar minded people and interact with them in the blogsphere.<br /><br />As it stands I do interact with them... on <span style="font-style: italic;">their</span> blogs. So the question is, how do I get them to come over to visit me? The technlogy in this seems to elude me - please feel free to enlighten me if you know what I have to do there - so I have decided that more posts, more regularly is a good place to start.<br /><br />I also think that perhaps more comments might make me more visible to all those search engines. So, in the interests of giving me a step up, I need your help. I know that many family read this, so please leave a comment every now and then...<br /><br />Here's how:<br /><br /><ul><li>Click on the word 'comments' at the bottom of the post</li><li>Fill in the comment box with anything you feel like saying (preferably nice and preferably on topic)</li><li>Fill in the funny word so I know you are not a hacker and then</li><li>If you don't have a google account select either Name (url is optional) and fill in your name, or Annonymous if you prefer to remain so<br /></li><li>Click 'publish your comment' and voila you will be part of my virtual community</li></ul>Right, now there are NO excuses. Please do your bit for this poor lonely blogger!Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31033141.post-28788892564764099122009-04-15T08:21:00.002+02:002009-04-15T08:34:55.474+02:00Dilemma:How long do you go on doing a favour for someone after you realise they are using you and are not even grateful?<br /><br />I have been giving someone's maid a lift back to the complex everyday after I drop the kids at school. I don't mind but it does have its downsides: I am committed to coming home after the school run every day and am unable to change my mind at the last minute and go and get the shopping out the way, or pop in to the library, because I have to bring the maid back first. I forwent this freedom and arranged my life so that I could do this favour.<br /><br />Yesterday I didn't realise, through my own inattention, that she had asked me to give the maid a lift home when I fetched the kids. So I happily drove on by oblivious. Later I recieved a very accusatory sms saying the poor woman had had to start walking and this person's Mother-in-Law had had to take her herself. I appologised. It was my oversight. I have heard nothing back. On top of this, I might just add that she almost never said thank you or even bothered to stick her head out the door to say good morning when I dropped the maid off. I am sure I was doing her a favour. I felt as though I was working for her.<br /><br />I am not the kind of person who needs recognition for helping out and can, in fact, happily do things for people who don't even know it was me doing the deed! But in this instnace I suppose I just expected a bit of politeness and to not be taken for granted. Needless to say, I no longer will be fetching the maid and will have my time back as my own.<br /><br />Is this selfish of me? What would you do in the same situation?Mom de Plumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15763454082893724945noreply@blogger.com9