How often do you savour the moment you are in? I don't mean stop and smell the roses, who has time for that in the rat race that is life in the Noughties? I mean while you are driving at breakneck speed (well within the legal limit of course) to get the kids to school on time, while you hastily make your way through a loaf of bread providing what passes for packed lunch for the family, while you try to fit being a spouse, parent, sibling, child and unique individual person into your hectic schedule of sleeping, eating and working, in no particular order. Our lives are made up of every moment we live, not the ones that have passed, those are our memories, not the ones to come as they do not exist yet. Now. That's what we have. That is what we are missing if we don't take note of at least some of those rapidly passing moments. I have forgotten about Now, until recently.
I was very concerned about whether I had done enough 'living' before settling down to marriage and children. I have. Definitely. But, if I hadn't, what exactly could I do to change it? Hmmm, that's it, nothing. It's passed. I remember it and love it but it is gone now, not to be mourned or regretted, just remembered and learned from.
I spent a lot of time mulling over the best choices to make for our family. As they grow up faster than I can comprehend, am I living in the right place, following the right career path, ever going to have a month where paying the bills is less stressful? Don't know. I can do something about these questions, but only if I Live each moment. If I don't interact with my children, I will one day have grown up children I don't really know, if I don't share special moments with my husband I will have a marriage without a relationship, if I don't notice the world around me Now, I might as well not worry about where I am now or where I want to be in the future, as I will not be aware of it anyway.
I am happy with Now. In my life Now is an amazing place to be. I am in good health, I have a doting (most of the time) husband, two amazing children, I work from home, I have an awesome support network in my friends who I would not do without, I have someone else doing my housework (!) and minding my children after school, I have a lovely garden thanks to a great gardener, and I have the opportunity to increase our monthly earnings by supporting DH in his ever improving business (y'know, to make those bills a little less scary). I also know that it could all be whipped away in the blink of an eye. So, I am savouring Now.
I should think we need an International Now Day, where people get to try it out. Don't stop, I know you don't have time, just savour. I can assure you, you will find happiness in every moment you notice.
I have been maintaining blog silence for the last couple of months for two reasons:
1. I have been using up all my words trying to earn a living which leaves me a bit spent.
2. I have not really felt like sharing!
Do you ever get those days, which turn into weeks every once in a while, when you feel insular? Not in the right frame of mind to interact with others? It happens to me whenever I really need to recharge my batteries. I have been in that zone for about six weeks now and (thankfully) it is over.
I felt the need to blog for two reasons:
1. Get over yourself, woman!
2. My friend Angus has been diagnosed with lung cancer (having never smoked) and he manages to keep up a positive stream of posts keeping all of us who care in touch with how he is doing. (Go over and have a read... he is a very worthwhile read!) Not shutting himself away to recharge but experiencing life and getting the most out of it. So this chica is taking a leaf out of that book of life and getting over herself.
So these last few weeks in which I have been keeping to myself I have also been indulging myself in precious time spent with my Mum.
Mum and I used to have a tenuous relationship at the best of times, for many and varied reasons. Now we have such a comfortable relationship that while she has been here we have been working at our laptops alongside each other sharing tips, tricks, insight and enthusiasm for our writing projects, getting along like a house on fire! I am a lucky lady! The best part about having Mum to myself is that, when she is not glued to her screen, I have her undivided attention.
In the interests of keeping some words for my working day and another post in the not too distant future... that's all for now!
Especially when your geyser gets hit by lightning (yes we were sitting about 5 metres from it when it tripped the electricity) on Christmas Eve, and there is no one answering the phone at the 24hr insurance call centre. I guess they don't specify 24/7/365.
So that rather loud and heartstopping (and hot stopping) bang was on Thursday evening. By Saturday we were on the last drops of our hot (read tepid) water. So on Sunday we were forced to bathe our hard laboured bodies, with the help of a kettle, in a puddle at the bottom of the bath, prior to settling in for the night. On Monday morning Natal shuddered itself lethargically back into work mode, and we hollered our local electrician. Luckily he was able to get the geyser repaired in a matter of minutes, since the part that was charred to a cinder had a handy replacement in his bakkie. Good thing too, because I do not clean in cold water!
So, I mentioned labour weary bodies. You might think that a bit odd bearing in mind that we were on holiday. But. BUT. Sean and I lost our minds one morning and started spring cleaning. By that I mean we emptied 2 rooms, vacuumed them as well as everything in them and put one of them back into the other. One remained in the dining room (I am refering to furniture here, you understand, as opposed to bricks) and the house looked like a bomb site for 12 hours. More than usual that is.
The following day was more of the same, I suppose, as we could hardly live as we were then for any length of time. Anyway, this spurt of indecent energy expenditure was brought on by the children being covered in bites from some unknown and unseen monster. They looked like they had some terrible lurgy, but were none the worse for wear (having said that a small drop in their energy levels does not actually register on the hyperactivity scale so perhaps I am wrong here) other than a little itchy. Their old room is always damp due to the large shady trees just behind our fence preventing the sun's warmth from drying it out. We also live in a very humid place so hot days make the floors and walls damp.
So, now that our holiday is drawn to a close, we have a whole new home to enjoy. Shannon and Jordan play happily in their new room, whereas they almost never played in their old one, the living area seems so much bigger and more open (it is tiny anyway but the rearranged furniture has created an illusion of space, ha ha).
As for the rest, Sean went back to work yesterday to discover that his main welder has a broken collar bone and that the one company he needed to be open is not! They have, locked behind their sleepy doors, the ballustrade he was meant to install this week! Did I mention the lethargy much of the province suffers from in the New Year? Not a great start for BMO, but other than that great things are afoot!
I am busy getting Shannon ready for Grade 1, she has learned to tie her shoelaces, write her name and write her numbers this holiday, (of course she is a genius and no, I am not biased just because I am her Mummy... lucky me) so hopefully she will be ready and able to participate enthusiastically in her first year of 'big' school!
Jordan is the cutest little thing I have ever clapped eyes on, but it is all a front to his devilish intentions. How difficult to be his doting Mummy!
Happy New Year to you, and I have great dreams for all of us for 2010... watch this space.
I am a home schooling Mum, a wife, a writer and a runner. I live in South Africa in a big farm house in a little town with The Fisherman, Miss Maker, Turbo and my furbabies Gentle Dog, Mad Dog and Cheeky Dog.