A little selfish ranting!

I have recently had a fabulously defining moment where I have realised MANY personal misconceptions of Self and which has left me with a more profound belief in Self! (Yes, dear freinds and family, I HAVE just developed MORE self-confidence!) I have realised that what I think I believed, because I thought I was supposed to, I often don't! (I sound a little like Pooh Bear!) Now if that is not a defining moment of self understanding I don't know what is! The details are of little importance or interest to anyone other than me, but the upshot of it is that I am all at once more comfortable than ever in my life, and intrigued by where this blank page is going to take me! It certainly gives me some things to work on!

I seem to have overcome a certain insecurity that I have been niggled with forever, so YAY for that one. I have learned to admit things to myself that I never dared before - as if anyone else might notice and I might have to deal with the repercussions! Really! Haven't yet overcome the inability to admit these things to other people but, come on, one thing at a time, I am only human!

I have realised that I have made all the correct decisions for me based on what I want out of life and not what anyone else wants for me and that with that knowledge my marriage can only get better and better (and for the record it's pretty good already!) my bond with my child/children will become deeper, and I am more inclined to do for them what Sean and I believe is best and not what anyone else impresses upon us! (I know that I am already a bit headstrong about these things but who else can know what is best for a child than the child's own parent?)

I have realised that I am the person I want to be and that though things can NEVER be ABSOLUTELY perfect in any life I am certainly on the right path to making my life the best it can be. I have successfully married the only candidate for the job of Hubby to Jane, (can't think of anyone else who even comes close to fitting the bill and lets face it someone's gotta love him! ;p) I have brought the most loving, caring, headstrong, clever, funny, determined, beautiful, playful, little girl in creation into the world (with a little help from Hubby; and OK, we might be a little biased, but that is our right as parents!)

Now I am heading down the path of choosing what I want to believe in and what is important in my life and doing away with those things I thought I believed in but actually don't! Please do NOT expect a miraculous change in the person I am as all these things are internal changes in Self and, in fact, as Sean rightly pointed out I am already that person... I have just realised that it is, in fact, OK to be me!

Words, words, words...

The trouble with this post is that it is about the fact that I am frustrated by the lack of words that I seem to have available to me at the moment! I am sure that sounds obscure if you are not me but to me it makes perfect sense! I seem to go through cycles of total outpouring to dripping tap when it comes to words. Sometimes I ONLY have words going in (at these times I will be buried in a book AT ALL TIMES ) and at times like THAT it is better not to talk to me at all as I seem to have nothing to say! Like now! I am fairly fussy about what books I like to read usually but when I have no words going out I can read ANYTHING... even Shannon's books... without Shannon! Perhaps I am stocking up to deal with the times when I don't stop talking and have a new blog post every day just to get rid of words! It's not even that I don't want to talk, just that I don't have anything to say...hmm! Thoughts anyone? My mind is boggling... I am off to read Sam I Am!

Not-so-naughty Shannon!

For the last couple of weeks Sean and I have been getting more than a little irritated with Shannon who has been ignoring us! Calling her seemed to have no effect and she would just carry on with what she was doing. I would call her for bath or for supper and she wouldn't come! Not sure what had come over our normally fairly compliant child, I began to wonder if she had gone deaf... So I did some experiments! She HAD gone deaf! Well partially at least! I conducted one of my experiments for Sean and he was HORRIFIED! How could we have been cross with her when she couldn't even hear us! Sean then spent the whole night awake - not sure if the two are connected but, knowing Sean, more than likely.

Next step was to mention this to her teacher who, as luck would have it, was teaching sounds at school that day! So she did an experiment on Shannon. Taking the shaker with the quietest sound she shook it behind Shannon. To confirm that she had heard Shannon nodded her head! The teacher then shook her empty hand behind Shannon, Poppet still nodded to confirm she had heard... hmmmm!! (Naughty MOMMY - how could I not notice?)

So this morning I took her to the doctor. She has bilateral effusion (I think) which means fluid build up behind her ear drum! Thanks, for the most part, to her ALLERGIES (why are we all allergic to everything, whose gene is it and why can't we have it removed???) So now I have to spray stuff up her nose 3 times a day, give her some other allergy thingy and some OTHER allergy thingy, in the hope that in 10 days the swelling has gone down and the fluid has drained! If not it's grommets (and to be perfectly honest, with a name like that, THEY can't be much fun!). So here is hoping.

In the mean time more patience, louder voices and eye contact are the order of the day when it comes to talking to the young lady whose most common response to me at the moment is: "What you say Mommy?" and to Sean - who obviously requires fewer words than me: "Say Dad?"

The upshot of all of this is that I feel like a nasty Mommy! How could I get cross with Poppet for not listening when actually she couldn't hear???? She always looked at us in total bemusement when she eventually did hear us and I thought she was being cheeky! "Naughty Mommy, needa gedda smack!"

Chicken Pox and tapping feet - not necessarily linked!!

Shannon has Chicken Pox. Shannon was innoculated against chicken pox! Shannon STILL has chicken pox. Other than spotty she is no different to normal! She is not sick but she has chicken pox! Shannon is in quarrantine for TWO WEEKS! At least that is the advice that I have been given thus far. As it stands she has been off school since Monday which, according to the powers that be, is about a quarter of the time allotted! NOT if I have MY way!

Shannon is an only child (at this stage) that means she is to have NO ONE to play with, except me and her Dad, for 2 weeks! Well I think that is VERY unfair when you are 3 years old! To be fair to the dear little madam, she has been EXTREMELY well behaved but I feel terrible much of the time, fobbing her off because I have WORK to do! We have coloured, threaded beads, played on her

swings,

read books, cooked, played with dolls, gone for walks and what ever else I can think of to keep her entertained (she does play on her own but she is only 3, it is not the most fun and she is a gregarious child - Shannon ADORES people) but she wants to go to school and play with her friends and I can't let her.

I was watching her surreptitiously from the window when she was on her swings this afternoon



and she was pushing both the swings one at a time while asking her imaginary friends if they were going high enough! She then asked one of them if she might have a turn being pushed! Really! I am taking her to the chemist on Friday to get her clearance certificate and she is going back to school... watch this space!

Last night when we were eating supper Shannon was tapping her foot on the table. It was slightly irritating so I asked her to stop. She said "It wasn't me it was my naughty foot" at which point she gave her foot a smack and a good telling off. I told her she had fidget foot! She was more than a little cross with me! "NOT figi foo it was my NAUGHTY FOOT! I can't tell you the ordeal I went through not to laugh (after all it was a little cheeky!) but she was genuinely outraged at my ignorance and so convinced of the culpability of her foot that reality remained unchecked momentarily! Sean did not help my mirth by attempting to explain fidget foot and in fact Shannon got just as outraged with him! Shame, she already believes her parents are halfwits and she hasn't even reached primary school! How true it is that a child so young is incapable of lying... they truly believe what they think and say! I wish I could catch moments like that on tape for her 21st Birthday!

Mangey Monkeys at it again!

I was sitting at my dining room table this morning, DEEPLY buried in my Anthroplogy notes (Discussing the marriage of religion and magic), when A MONKEY JUMPED UP ON THE TABLE. Needless to say I yelped in abject terror (who knows what I thought had happened in that split second before I realised it was a MANGEY MONKEY) for Sean, which sent the monkey in ONE leap from the table to my freshly cleaned kitchen counter, it STOLE my last banana and took off with Sean hot on it's heals. Have I ever mentioned that I DON'T LIKE MONKEYS!

Sean remained in the doorway for a few moments with a monkey-threatening scowl on his face, but TO NO AVAIL! The monkey CAME BACK FOR MORE! Thankfully Sean is a well built chap and his frame filled that of the doorway, the monkey got no more fruit and scampered indignantly off onto the roof! Have I mentioned I don't like monkeys!

I would like to be able to leave my dooropen during the day and my windows open at night... what does a girl have to do to get such a TINY wish granted! Burglar bars answers one problem... that is in the pipeline! BUT WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT THE @!*#%*@ MANGEY MONKEYS?

Baby Clulow

CONGRATULATIONS Al and Suzie Clulow on the arrival of a beautiful baby boy! He was born on July 1st 2007 at 5:10am weighing 3.2kg. Just to confirm the ABSOLUTE cuteness of this VERY special little boy...here is a picture!




Now... what you gonna call him?