Mangey Monkeys at it again!

I was sitting at my dining room table this morning, DEEPLY buried in my Anthroplogy notes (Discussing the marriage of religion and magic), when A MONKEY JUMPED UP ON THE TABLE. Needless to say I yelped in abject terror (who knows what I thought had happened in that split second before I realised it was a MANGEY MONKEY) for Sean, which sent the monkey in ONE leap from the table to my freshly cleaned kitchen counter, it STOLE my last banana and took off with Sean hot on it's heals. Have I ever mentioned that I DON'T LIKE MONKEYS!

Sean remained in the doorway for a few moments with a monkey-threatening scowl on his face, but TO NO AVAIL! The monkey CAME BACK FOR MORE! Thankfully Sean is a well built chap and his frame filled that of the doorway, the monkey got no more fruit and scampered indignantly off onto the roof! Have I mentioned I don't like monkeys!

I would like to be able to leave my dooropen during the day and my windows open at night... what does a girl have to do to get such a TINY wish granted! Burglar bars answers one problem... that is in the pipeline! BUT WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT THE @!*#%*@ MANGEY MONKEYS?