Do what?

The reason I have been *missing* for the last few days can be attributed completely to the incompetence of Telkom, my ISP, and their inability to either protect my bandwidth from theft, or to assist me in reconnecting to the new user name I paid good money to use. Luckily I am blessed with brains and a very understanding husband, between the two of us we got it sorted!

This post is, however, not an anti Telkom vent, infact I wouldn't afford them the priveledge! It is, among other things, because Shannon's solution to keeping Jordan in check is somewhat faulty. Here's how it played out:

Me: I think I should spin the vacuum cleaner around the house.
Shannon: Yay, we can pretend to get scared of the noise and go aaagghhhhh (faulty in itself but not the worst of it)
Me: How will we keep Jordan from getting in the way?
Shannon (with very little consideration, thankfully): Just tie him down, Mummy!

Jordan started creche just last week and seems to have settled in straight away. He spent much of his first day saying NO! to the teacher and shaking his finger at her when she wouldn't let him do the naughty things he was trying to do. His second day was much improved, however, and it seems that it has been a good decision all round. This month he is only going 2 days a week and next month he will go 4 days a week!

We also seem to have overcome the sleep issue. Accidentally. Here's how it happened: I put Jordan down for his nap and the phone rang. I left him in his pram and went to answer the phone. When I came back he was asleep. Next he went to school and at his nap time they chucked (not literally you understand) him in a cot and he went to sleep. I retrieved his cot from the garage, put him in it at bed time and... he went to sleep.

He still wakes up in the night but ususally only once and that is definitly manageable!

Now I need to rant. I am still breast feeding Jordan at 14 months. I have low oestrogen levels. In order to combat that a medically trained person recommended that I must wean him now (which is fine, I have started as it happens but for reasons other than these) as, and I quote: it has absolutely no benefit to him now and he is just using you for a dummy!

I beg your pardon? She is a nurse! Where was she taught and which archaeic medical professional told her that? Perhaps I am misinformed but I have always believed that:

1. breast milk is still nutritionally rich - that's why they make follow on formula for bottle fed babies older than 12 months

2. breast milk has components that aid in brain development and the longer the child is breast fed the longer they are able to use those chemicals (DHA being one of them) and the better they will cope with living and learning.

3. breastfed babies are lower risk from MANY problems occurring in kids today including obesity, allergies and behavioural disorders.

4. breast feeding lowers risk to the mother of breast cancer and osteoporosis

5. it is emotionally beneficial to both mother and child. Children whose emotional needs are met as babies and toddlers (and breast feeding is the most amazing emotional staff for babies) grow up to be more independent and better at coping.

I am not saying here that anyone who has not breastfed has done their child a disservice, only that it is not useless post 12 months! If I am wrong on any of these accounts please tell me.

Phew! I feel better now!

That dam wall and the dolphin show

We live in a beautiful area of KwaZulu Natal, surrounded by every colour, sight and sound that nature has to offer... and then some. For some reason, however (for argument's sake we'll say global warming), our natural environment seems to have lost its sense of humour. The weather is taking its toll.

Recently we have had destructive winds, rain, thunder, lightening and hail hurling their wrath upon us in a most unnecessary manner. The latest in this trail of destruction was (nearly) our house and, most definitely, our conservancy. The rain that dropped out of the sky on Saturday was rather alarming to say the least especially as, for some reason, it started to fill up the garden. That has never happened before! So, having made makeshift sand bags from refuse bags stuffed with wet towels, we had to find a way to avert certain disaster. After threatening to knock over the little wall around the drains, heeding my request to make another plan and dashing round the garden to research the next best course of action, Sean knocked some fence posts out (then rebuilt it later while it was still raining - bit of a go-getter, our Sean) and dug a trench which, luckily, drained the water quite quickly and we soon saw grass again.



That, sadly, was just the tip of the iceberg, however, as, just below our homes, in the gorge, is a conservancy with 2 little dams... at least there used to be. Now there is a conservancy with one little dam and a rather swollen river.





Oh, and a big mud hole 30 odd metres across where the other dam used to be. No more fishing. Although, on the bright side, Sean reckons he can now restock his fishing box with all the tackle he, and others, have lost in the middle of the dam on previous fishing trips.






I haven't shown Shannon yet. I think she will be horrified. I will take her down on Saturday, maybe. Jordan will think someone just made the MOST fun new playground for him so perhaps I will strap him in his pram for the duration... hmm, that'll be interesting.


So, having had a rather wet Saturday, we were all gagging to get out on Sunday. Since our fabulous friends Les, Ollie and little Sam, were here to visit, they decided to treat us to a trip to Ushaka Marine World.

Once again, as in this post, Shannon was spell bound. Jordan and Sam were equally spellbound - for all of about 10 minutes. Having said that Sam sat intently through the Dolphin show while Jordan screamed his lungs out until I started dancing with him on my shoulders.





I guess he just couldn't stand the MC chap without whom the show would have been a good deal better. It was, however, amazing to see those huge dolphins strutting their stuff!!!






The aquarium was full of fish, amazingly, and people doing various shark diving and snorkling activities. They were funny to look at from underneath! Lunch was delicious and Shannon managed to put away 2 whole icecreams!!! Thanks, Les and Ollie, for a great day out!

Just trying to work something out

I am teetering on the edge of Can't Be Bothered. And, incidentally, Denial. Denial because Can't Be Bothered is actually a symptom of something deeper that I can't lay a finger on, not the problem itself. A lack of motivation? Unlike me. I usually potter along easily to the beat of my routine! And so where is this precipice on which I find myself?

I have many, many things to do: finalise paperwork for visas, finish and send off a unit of my diploma, join an organisation for a module of my degree, renew my driver's licence, renew Shannon's passport, apply for Jordan's passport, start assignments whose deadlines loom closer every day, write an article... yet another looming deadline... oh and cook, colour in, bath children, run...

It's not that I don't enjoy any of the tasks that make up my day. I do, in fact, enjoy almost every one of them. The incidentals are a bit of a bore but necessary nonetheless. It's just that I feel like there are bigger things afoot and that I ought to stop concentrating on all these little things and focus on the big picture. The problem is that the big picture is made up of all the little things without which there would be no picture. Am I right?

Maybe I need chocolate... or perhaps it is less serious than that?

So maybe I am losing focus? Hmmm, that sounds about right, actually. I need to focus on the 'why' behind the picture - What do all the little tasks add up to? Where will they take me? What will become of me if I do/ don't do them? - Then gather myself together and tackle each task a little bit at a time.

Ah, another insight... it's all a little overwhelming too. Having so many small tasks to concentrate on has great potential to cause unravelling. I need to put the big picture on the wall and add bits as I go, to each separate concept, little by little, building up until the next stage is complete. So deep breath, focus and... look out Salvador Dali!!!

Eenie Meenie Miney Mo

The thing is I am such a wonderful Mummy that my son wants to spend his every waking hour with me. Cute, eh? Perhaps, and in an ideal world this would be heaven for me.

In that ideal world I would be just-a mum. (yes I know it never works like that but I did mention a world that is ideal) I would get my adorable, well behaved cherubs up at around 7 in the morning - in preference to the 5.30 am rude awakening I generally receive - They would cheerfully eat all their breakfast, in one go, and take their empty bowls to the kitchen. We would then engage in learning/constructive play all morning, during which they would hang, spell bound, on my every word, following which we would have lunch, with adorable cherubs consuming all their veggies without a second thought. The afternoon would include a trip to the shops and then free play. Then Sean would come home from work and attend to bath time, supper time and bedtime while I languish comfortably on the couch, glass of wine in hand waiting for my own supper to be served! hmm I seem to have removed myself to another universe, rather than just an ideal world.

Ah well, back to reality. I have a number of tasks, during the day, which require my undivided attention. Jordan is supposed to play with Dorcas while I concentrate. The problem is: He Wants To Play With Me.

My options are:

1. wait for the phase to pass if it ever does????
2. send him to school with Shannon and do the housework myself?????

Not sure I like either option actually. Presumably, in order to avoid making a decision, I will end up with option 1. Bother!

Discipline...

...or the lack of it, is the most prevalent concern in the Hendry household at the moment. Shannon seems to be doing ok, as long as I remember that she is four years old and a normal four year old:

• jumps on the couches and beds when possible
  
• bounces off the walls
• runs, hops and jumps everywhere she goes
• and is VERY VERY loud!

No, it is Jordan who is causing trouble and depleting the reserves of Rescue! I have taken to saying 'NO' firmly, leaving no one in any doubt that they are doing something wrong. No one, that is, except Jordan, who bursts into tears as if his world is ending and goes right back to doing what it was he got in trouble for. I have, I am sorry to admit, tried smacking his tiny little hand as it goes for the things he is not allowed to touch, like my computer/mouse/keyboard (can you say accidental ctrl/A/delete?) and I get the same reaction: distraught tears and a return to the scene of the crime! *sigh* I can't send him to the bathroom or make him sit on the naughty mat as he would not have a clue what was going on!

So what is my plan of action?... um ....I think... perhaps I should... OK, I admit, I am at a loss. How do I discipline a 1 year old who merely thinks I am ruining his fun when I get cross with him? Either I can't remember this from Shannon 3 and a half years ago (yes, I have probably blocked it out in order to dupe me into believing it is safe to have a second child!) or she was just better at listening. At least THEN she was! Ok, ok I am deluded and suffering from some sort of amnesia but back to my question: What do I do now???

Other than this:

In the mean time...

...2 very important birthdays have come and gone, at such a speed they have left their cards flapping in their breeze.

Jordan turned 1 on January 15. I can't believe a year has passed already, and how he has changed in that time amazes me. He is a proper little boy now. No longer a baby. He understands simple instructions. I ask him: where are your blocks? and he beckons me to follow him to fetch them from his room. When I say bath time, he heads for the bath room. If he is hungry he drags his high chair towards the fridge. When he hear me pick up the car keys he says 'bye bye' and goes to the door. He is only 1. Only just. But he knows and understands far more than I give him credit for. He is adorable. At least I think so, I his Mum, I'm allowed to see all the special bits only. If I want to.

Sean turned 41 on January 24. Sean was already pretty good at simple instructions. We are working on the more complicated ones now: where are your keys? When he is hungry he.... OK, stop making fun of him, 41 is not THAT old! Moving swiftly on... His birthday present? A steel business. His own. Officially BMO Steel Fabrication is trading from Monday, February 2nd. I, for one, am very excited. Sean is aprehensive, as anyone would be on the verge of something that means so much to them. I am proud of him. I know this is his big success story.


Happy birthday to my boys, here's wishing you have many, many more and you spend them all with Shannon and me!

A little perspective, if I may...

We are in the process of making yet more life furthering decisions. Sean is starting up in business partnership in his continual drive for improvements in our lives, I have successfully negotiated 2 years of a degree and am well set to meet the requirements to continue my professional development once I finish this year. Our children are growing up fast and the years are ticking by. As they do so our marriage grows stronger, our family bond has become the foundation on which we make our decisions and our children continue to light the way to our future. And so we must strive to live and make our lives what we want them to be. That’s why we do what we do. It has never been clearer.

Sean and I are intelligent, individual people, with hopes, fears, dreams and realities, just like everybody else. Due to the paths in life we have taken, we are where we are now: a full time mother, wife and student, and a husband, father and earner. We are different to many other people. Our lives have ensured that. We have been places and experienced things that other people only read about in books. We may not have years of career behind us, but we have years of life experiences. Life is too short to only spend it planning for the future. We have lived. Now we are realigning our needs and wants, ticking the right boxes, ready for the next stage. It is yet another experience. We are living.

Sean has found, after many years of searching, an industry in which he feels comfortable, and one where he sees the potential to fulfil his drive for financial security. He has been given a huge leg up, for which he is extremely grateful. But he is ambitious and wishes to constantly improve the lifestyle that he provides for his family. He can’t do that by standing still and waiting for handouts. He can do that by investing in himself and his natural talent for all things practical. Why wait? Why put off something that can potentially change our current situation for the better? Even if it is only a little bit better, better is always good. Isn’t that a valuable way to live a life? I believe in Sean; he has an uncanny understanding of things that appear murky and confusing to others (including myself, often), but he usually proves himself right in the end. Belief is a powerful tool that we can use to improve our lot, lacking faith in one’s self removes that power, so we strive to maintain it. Sean will go far self-employed in the right industry. That is our goal.

Another way that Sean and I are attempting to improve our situation is by furthering my education and allowing me the time to do that as quickly and as well as possible. We are happy to live life as we do in order to make this a possibility. If this means that we must go without a few things, then so be it. Once I am qualified I will be able to increase our financial stability and future prospects, alongside Sean, far more than I would if we concerned ourselves with our current situation and I went to work full time now. Once again, why wait? My earning potential is currently very low and the expense of full time care for our children and the extra petrol money would make it a waste of time. Before Shannon is even in senior primary, and Jordan starts school, I will be a bona fide psychologist. That is our goal.

Something else that is of huge importance to us is the way we raise our children. We are in the enviable position that enables me to stay at home with Shannon and Jordan. I am here whenever they are here. I believe that gives them an invaluable start to life, knowing that I am always a constant in their lives. I realise and appreciate how lucky we are that we can offer this to our children. Once again if sacrifices have to be made to allow this, then that's what we will do. This is another reason I do not go to work. We are lucky that our lives have worked out in this way. Had I developed my career earlier I would be compelled to work in order not to fall behind. By the time I am ready to lauch myself back into the working world Shannon and Jordan will both be at school/creche and they will need me less. Timing is everything.

Long term security rather than instant gratification are our objectives; if we do not do what we are doing we will not achieve them. They are our decisions. We have made them carefully and thoughtfully in the best interests of our family. Life has taught us many lessons which we have learned and implemented in a way that has broadened our horizons and opened our minds. We have grown as people and have come to the point we are at now through much discussion, understanding and experience. We are capable. Our continued belief in what we are doing will help us to fulfil our reality. That is something that I know! Having learnt life's lessons thus far has paved the way for 2009 to be the year we step up a level, and every year after that will be yet another step up. Each new life stage offers a chance to change and improve on what has come before. Now is our spring board into the future. Until the next one, onwards and upwards.

And another thing...

Ok, just so you know, the start to the year has been a little frustrating. I am a creature who requires routine, activites and time limits in order to function. At all. This obsession (no, that is not too strong a word for it!) is happily satisfied most of the time and, being the psychologically mature adult that I am, I am able to cope admirably with the odd diversion into chaos. However. Chaos seems to be the main thread so far this year, with the occasional return to routine (perhaps the only thing keeping me out of the clutches of men in white coats)

Did I mention that Jordan is, shall we say active and intrigued by the world. He displays these traits by attempting to handle, take apart and/or distroy anything he can get his grubby little paws on. He is VERY cute and his life saving attribute is his perfect timing with returning to the adorable little cherub I know he is, JUST in the nick of time. Thank heavens for Dorcas or I would be in BIG trouble!!!

My next distruption comes in the form of forms. If you read my last post you will know I am trying to get my applications for various things in order. This means that I have to go off and do things that do not fit into my routine and always take more time than I expect and are just plain frustrating. At least I have my finger prints now... so on to the next step!

Oh and my wonderful university seems to lack personel. I think the dispatch department exists, as I have recieved most of my study material, but I am loath to put any faith in the existence of any other useful or necessary people or departments. Mostly because I have been trying to contact them for nearly a month with a registration issue I have, and have got through to ONE PERSON! And as it turned out she couldn't hlep me anyway... just picked up the phone at someone else's desk!!! Great institution. Really.

My planned daily routine for 2009 went something like this:

Monday to Friday
7:45am drop Shannon at school and fetch Dorcas

8am start personal admin

8.30am start work on one of my 3 jobs (degree, diploma or writing)

10am coffee break

12pm lunch break

12.30 continue working

2.30 drop Dorcas off and fetch Shannon

4.30pm children's bath time

5.30pm children's supper time

6.30pm Children's bed time, breath and then relax.

I am managing everything except the bit between 8am and 2.30pm. AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH

Sometime in all that time I like to fit in a run or some rebounding just to allow me to continue to to keep the chocolate makers in business!!

The other thing I have to do is update this blog with the following posts:

Jordan's first birthday (that was a week ago already)

And a look into my total lack of will power in relation to choclate, and in fact any other snacky food I can get my hands on. May have something to do with the lack of routine,but as I say that is a whole other post!!!

Ah well, I will keep on keeping on in the hope that things will soon fall into place and I can make that routine work for me!!! Wish me luck!

Forms, forms and more forms! Part 1!

2009 is a year of sorting things. In this wonderful part of the world that means a fair amount of red tape and time delays.

1. Sean investigated the possiblity of arming himself in the interests of protecting us from some of the more dangerous inhabitants of our province, only to discover that doing so legally would take almost a year. Obtaining something illegally would take a matter of days but it is not something we are interested in so unarmed we remain!

2. I am trying to change one of the modules I have registered for this year (due to a lack of prior planning I am registered for a module I have not done prerequisites for) Seems there is no one working at UNISA any more and I will just have to get on and do it and hope they give me my degree at the end of it! (OK I am not that gung ho, I will persevere until it is sorted but c'mon, is there a need!!!)

3. We spent the morning at Home Affairs on Friday only to discover that my application for permanent residence will take a year to 15 months to go through... is that NORMAL??? Oh and they told us I can convert my temporary residence permit to a business owner one and work for myself. Now they tell me. 4 years later! Thanks guys!!!

4. The form that I was given to fill in in the interests of changing my permit says I have to have R2 5 ooo ooo in the bank in order to do so. I think it may be the wrong form! I hope!

5. I have to get police clearance from the SAPS to say that I am a nice upstanding citizen but I must take the forms etc away from them and I must send all the stuff off myself as they will probably get it wrong!!!!! Great!

Ah well, here goes nothing!

This year...

...I resolve to earn millions and live happily ever after! Really! This year!

Seems my posts are a little thin on the ground at the moment. Here are my excuses: Shannon is on holiday, Jordan requires six pairs of eyes watching him at all times to prevent total destruction of either himself or his surroundings. I only have 1 pair last time I checked so everything is not safe.

So, Christmas and New Year happened. I think. At least that may be what the blur was that flashed past at the end of 2008. I have a good feeling about them so must have been enjoyed by all. As I said, a bit of a blur. Someone said to me that the way the earth has erroded over the years means it is smaller and therefore spins faster on it's axis and so time has sped up. Not sure how that works with hours, minutes and seconds, but after this recent festive season I feel I may begin to believe it!

Anyway, here we are in 2009 and big things are afoot. Jordan walks. He gave it a proper shot on New Years day and had it mastered by the second day! He also climbs. Which is where the 6 pairs of eyes come in. My little angel boy has been known to remove plants, roots and all, from their pots, relieve glasses of their very useful, and in fact necessary, arms, and do back flips off the couch. The latter ended with him landing deftly on his head where he now sports a carpet imprinted bruise to be proud of. The fact that people will think I beat my children over the head with carpet covered blunt objects was perhaps not considered prior to the event! And my glasses are currently convalescing out of reach with glue in all the right places - hopefully! I remain optimistic... for now! Slowly transferring the pot plants to the garden is my only defence in that area.

Shannon seems to be getting longer and skinnier as the weeks pass, I am holding out for her to fill out a bit before her next growth spurt in the interests of not snapping in the middle. Other than that she is very interested in everything that is going on to the point that her incessant questioning of 'who was that, Mom' or 'who were you speaking to?' or 'what did she say, mom?' or 'where are we going?' 'who is coming here?' 'why did you do that?' may be the last straw with my insanity! aaaaaggghhhhhhhh! School starts next week, they can share some of the inquisition!!! Shannon is a fabulous big sister and has assumed the role of pair of eyes number 3 in the hope of salvaging some of her own things from destruction.

That's all I have time for, The Destructor is awake and I must return to sentry duty. Happy 2009! This is a good year!

Unintended Charitable Donations

When we lived in Zimbabwe, many, many years ago, we were broken into and robbed on more than a few occasions. Mum slowly but surely lost all her valuable jewellery. Her ever pragmatic attitude to this was that she could not be accused of not doing her part for charity in Africa.

Last night I donated my favourite black leather handbag that my Mum bought me for my birthday and gold watch which Sean and I had 'His 'n Her's' of!

I went out to ladies night Christmas dinner and Sean and the kids were at home. Sean was up late (for us) and didn't go to bed until about 10:30. 20 minutes later he was woken by the noise of people in the back garden. He called me to see if it was me trying to get in but I was still at the party. He called again a few minutes later to say he thought they'd gone and I came home.

We tried to work out (rather optimistically I suppose) if it had been a big cat coming though the window but were confused as to why the window was open all the way (we always leave them on the first latch to keep cats and monkeys out!) We could also see something on the grass in the back garden. Since it is not good practice to go wandering round in the dark in South Africa we left it til morning to go and see what it was. Turned out to be the contents of my handbag. At least the things with no commercial value. luckily there were no important things in there and, in fact, the handbag and watch (which was in it) and a few Rands from my purse are the only real things lost!

My bag is usually put away but last night I left it behind at the last minute and left it on the table... NOT near a window... at least not within arms reach. Turns out a rake can reach quite a long way into a small house!!! It wasn't even our rake! It belongs to our neighbour and has been missing for a few days! They must have seen the bag before the curtains were closed and then waited til Sean went to bed (about 3 HOURS later) to reach in and get it.

THEN! Then they stood outside the window. Ate some sweets that were in my bag. One each. Left the wrappers on the grass and my notebook on the wall. And a few foot prints, big ones of an adult man and little ones... boys school shoes I think, just so we could be absolutely sure they are audacious and couldn't care less if we know who they are. Sean looked out the window which possibly made them turn slowly and wander off. He didn't see them though. They were still going through my bag as they left since they dropped my handcream on the path by the neighbour's house. They kept my reciepts. Presumably to claim against tax? And my medical aid card. The old one.

I think the thing that pisses me off the most is that they didn't snatch my bag and run in fear of getting caught, but that they casually hung around to wait for Sean to go to bed and then reached right into our house with a rake, and then stood around, no more than a metre from the window, choosing what to take with them. Bastards.



On the plus side it was a non violent crime, no one came inside, no one was hurt and Shannon does not even know that something happened. This time. Which gives us a chance to improve our security and our awareness so that we can continue to remain safe. At least in our home.

And it strengthens my resolve to get all our ducks in a row so we can move somewhere less crime ridden!

NOTE ADDED: They also took a bag from No. 10 in the complex - she got off less lightly and lost her ID book, driver's license, bank cards et al!!!

No comment

I have recently been reprimanded, by a number of people who regularly fail to leave a comment on this blog and therefore should forgive me for believing they are not actually reading it anyway, for not having updated in a fair while.

So here I am again, back at the keyboard and poised to pour out my most interesting news and views.

Just feeling a little feak and weeble about it, actually. That may have something to do with the time of year; with the fact that my son, who I am sure was only born recently, will be 11months old soon; the fact that Christmas is in 2 weeks and I've only just noticed; and the fact that I seem to have mislaid about 6 months of this year somewhere along the way. I am hoping they are mislaid and not lost completely as I could use the time. Really.

So some relief comes from the fact that I have finished and passed my 2nd year exams and a little anxiety from having just registered for 3rd year. I have also embarked, perhaps in a moment of madness, on a diploma to compliment my degree. Did I mention I have a husband, two small children and a (sort of) job? Is there a need? Luckily I enjoy all of my jobs and once rested from all of them will be ready to launch myself into 2009 with determination and vigour. What's that you say? I don't get a holiday? All three? *sigh*







My son is a terror, albeit a happy one, and is inclined to do whatever it takes to achieve his desire. Even if it means potential race to the emergency room. Climbing up is his new game. At 11 months. He has not mastered the art of climbing off or down, and has chosen falling as his prefered method of descent. Height notwithstanding. That's boys for you, I am told! He has 4 teeth and is on the verge of walking; at the moment he can manage one step unsupported, but that usually shocks him so much he sits down with a bump. He like to have his own way and will pull Shannon's hair as hard as he can if she tries to stop him. She still tries. Ah, the optimism of a 4 year old.





My little princess has suddenly become tall and leggy at the grand age of 4 and a half. There is very little padding between skin and bone, and clothes that fit her last month are now too short in the arms and legs! With any luck she will fill out a little before she shoots up again or I fear for the elasticity of her skin! It's not as if I don't feed her!!!! She is as healthy as a horse. Just a bit bean pole-ish! She got a glowing report from creche which says that she is, as I suspected, practically perfect in every way. Oops, there's the doting Mum bit!

Sean is on a mission, as is his wont, to improve our lives once again in 2009! Watch this space...

Right, for a bit of a weak and feeble start, that turned out to be less painful than expected. I'm off to make brownies!!!

It came out of nowhere

At least that is what it seemed like. Today has dawned a gorgeous African summer day, making yesterday's experience seem like something in a dream. Yesterday dawned like that too. I headed to Durban to write my exam with that feeling of awe and... and... actually words fail me here. I can't describe the feeling that a real summer's day in Africa brings. You have to be here. Experience it. It lulled us into a sense of summer happiness. Falsely.

At about 2pm, out of nowhere (I suppose it came from somewhere, we just didn't see it coming) a tornado hit. Sean was in the little town near where we live and luckily was parked underground because from where he was he watched trees being ripped out of the ground. A prefab building collapsed in front of him. It was empty. He went to check. The wind was ferocious. The rain came down in sheets. Thunder didn't rumble. It split the air with its anger. We are about 7km away from where Sean was.



It went from sunny to so dark it may as well have been night time in a matter of moments. I unplugged everything and shut all the windows. We were lucky. We caught the edge of it. The power went out. It made the darkness even more intense. Our garden furniture blew around a bit and the trees were bent in half. One came down in our complex. But that was it. Less than 2ks away our friends house lost its roof, their house is full of water and they still have no power. They are safe though.



Roofs have come off buildings all over the place, trees are strewn great distances from where they were once rooted, cars have been squashed by buildings and trees. The worst damage, as it always seems to be, was in the settlement near where we live. 400 houses were blown away. Over 1000 people are homeless. Cars were blown around. 8 people are dead. 8 so far.


Today you wouldn't know. Wouldn't believe it if someone told you. It is dead calm. The sun is hot at 8am. The birds are calling and the monkeys have come to visit. Out there is the evidence. The devastation of people's lives. And it came out of nowhere.

Conversations with Dad...

Dad prior to going shopping for a braai: Shannon, what's you favourite meat on the braai (BBQ)?
Shannon after earnest consideration: Chips!
Dad: Speechless


Shannon while Dad was donning a suit to go to a funeral: Dad you look like a maniac!
Dad: Speechless


Shannon at 5 this morning when Sean got up to see why all the lights were on: Dad, why doesn't the light on the garanda work?
Dad amused that she has actually checked: because the fitting is broken.
Shannon on a mission: I know how to fix it.
Dad intrigued: How?
Shannon duh!!! Parents know nothing: Don't go to your work. Go straight passed your work to the builders work and tell them to fix it. Builders know how to fix it!
Dad: Speechless

Luckily I was not in the same room as them for any of these conversations as their sincerity would have been ruined by my giggles!!!

It's that time of year again....

Summer. With its glorious warmth, beautiful blue skies, dramatic thunderstorms and snakes. Yep. Snakes. I have never been a HUGE fan of these legless reptiles but now that I have small children running and crawling around the garden, oblivious to any danger (and one at an age where new and interesting things should always be picked up and investigated) they scare the you know what from you know where leaving me even more paranoid than usual!!!!

There was one at a friends house not too long ago. Then one at the house at the end of our street. Today one outside the back door. It was small. A night adder. Not too dangerous. No KNOWN fatalities. Except perhaps if you only weigh 9.5kg. And are likely to pick it up. Or 15kg and likely to stand on one before you notice it!

So summer is here. Time to play in the garden is over til winter again. *Sigh* I can't do that. I do know that I can't do that. But what can I do to prevent either a nasty snake bite on tiny people or anxiety attacks for their mother. Anyone know any natural snake repellents? Although the snakes are natural monkey and robber repellents. I'm off to find the rescue remedy. I may need something stronger this time!!!

I need to vent

...and this seems as good a place as any.

I am studying a degree through distance learning. That means limited or no contact with lecturers. They are also impossible to get hold of on the phone or via email as they hardly ever respond. So one of the things I have come to rely on to check whether I am on track with my learning is the feedback we receive on assignments.

There is a module that I am doing which doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I think it has been badly taught/written and (here's my vent) they have categorically told us THERE IS NO FEEDBACK ON ASSIGNMENTS. The first assignment was multiple choice. I got 2 questions wrong out of 25 - but I have no idea which ones. OK - not the end of the world, I can possibly work that one out. That still doesn't help me with why I was wrong. The other assignment was written answers. It was unmarked as it was not a compulsory assignment, and THERE IS NO FEEDBACK.

Here's the crunch: It provides the basis for half of the exam. I have absolutely no way of knowing how I have done on this assignment. If I use my answers to revise for the exam I could be completely off track. That means I could fail my exam! I feel like I am being blindfolded, led down the garden path and then, with blindfold intact, asked to describe what I can see.

I feel that the people who designed this module are lazy and incompetent and need to be replaced with people who understand the need for FEEDBACK.

Right, if I am venting for no reason and this is a normal state of affairs in a learning process, please let me know. I will feel better. It will probably improve my mindset. If I am vindicated in my frustration, help! I need to change my mindset or this exam is going to cripple me. I will be well into revision by the end of tomorrow so please watch this space! I will endeavour to acquire some positivity between now and then!

How many chidren does it take...

...to convince a mother to trust her instincts?

We seem to have solved the sleep issue. Separation anxiety. What in the world made me believe that something that felt so unnatural would be the best thing for my baby boy? Especially when I did the complete opposite with Shannon. As soon as Shannon was big enough for us not to be worried about squashing her, she slept in our bed. That's why we didn't have sleep problems with her. That's part of the reason she is such a confident, balanced child. It wasn't impossible to get her into her own bed. Sometimes she still comes back to ours. It's comforting. It's natural.

All my instincts have been screaming against me for the last month, while I have tried to force my poor little boy into an unnatural sleeping ideal. Because the books said so. Because I was worried about getting enough sleep to be alert for my exams. I didn't hear. Maybe I wasn't listening. One benefit of this exercise is that it has taught him to self soothe. It has also taught me to trust my instincts. I seem to walk a fine line between parenting the way science believes I should and the way something deep inside me believes I should. Once again I am seeing the world through my children's eyes and learning. I have learned that mothering is about what is right for parent and child. Individually. Uniquely in each relationship with each precious child. I have learned that science has helped us to develop a yard stick but that it must be used as just that. Not as the difinitive answer.

I trust myself more now. I trust Jordan, too, to let me know what is best for him when I feel a bit lost. We are all much happier now. Shannon had become very emotional. I think it had a lot to do with something feeling Not Quite Right. She seems a bit better the last day or two also. Mothers, remember: you know best!

I'm having a moment

So it's that time of year again for me. Exams start on Tuesday and go on for 6 weeks. *sigh* I'm tired. I was tired last year at exam time as I was nearly 7 months pregnant which, for me, means fat, frumpy, swollen, sore, grumpy, over emotional and unable to sleep. (have I mentioned that I have my 2 kids and now this factory is CLOSED?)

This year my son is 8 months old and doesn't sleep. Well he does sleep but not in a manner that allows much sleep for me. In the morning he sleeps at around 9am, for about 30 mins. At 1ish pm he sleeps for about an hour. He has a crazy 4pm sleep which he can't cope without (otherwise he falls asleep, unable to go on, at 5:30 and then he wakes up at about 6:30 and won't go back to sleep) and goes to bed at 6:45. He then wakes up anything from 3 to 7 times before 5:30am when he is up and rearing to go for the day. Why? *sigh*

So when he wakes up he feeds. I know that this may be a habit but he really feeds. A proper full feed. Not just that suck to get back to sleep thing; as if I haven't fed him for a week. He self soothes at nap time and at bed time. He is put in his cot and he goes to sleep. So why doesn't he soothe himself back to sleep in the night? My tether is getting very short.

The other problem, which may be related, is his eating habits. For a little boy who is gaining weight in the 97th percentile, he sure doesn't eat very well. Sometimes he will wolf down his food but at other times (more often) I can get barely a table spoon into his mouth the whole day. Then I resort to Marie biscuits since he always eats those. Yet he never goes off the milk. So it's not like he's not hungry. Bear with me: *sigh*

I feel like a first time Mum on this one. I don't know what to do. Shannon ate fairly well (not so any more but that is a whole other post) and, though she didn't sleep through til she was nearly 2 and a half, she only woke once or twice in the night for feeds until about 13 months and then just for a cuddle or to get in our bed for about a year after that. I easily conditioned to that. I think. Perhaps I have forgotten.

I am really tired this morning. Perhaps I shouldn't be posting at all, I am exposing my vulnerability. It is a mind set, right. Pick yourself up and keep going, it won't last forever. And those exams. Let's hope the work done over the year pays off; revision is a little difficult when my brain keeps falling asleep.

*sigh* I guess this is why mothers are blessed with the ability to love their children unconditionally! Good thing he so adorable eh?

A sense of home

I grew up in a wonderfully unusual manner which involved not only moving house and school, but also moving country every couple of years. This means that, while still at home, I lived in 4 countries (Zimbabwe, Spain, Argentina and South Africa), on 3 continents (Africa, Europe, South America) and went to 2 primary schools and 3 senior schools. Since leaving home I have lived in a further 3 countries (England, America and South Africa) once again on 3 different continents (I'll let you work that one out). No, we are not evading the long arm of the law or dodging taxes, my parents are teachers, well they were then, they are now much more than that, and we moved from international school to international school. Where am I going with this?

Ah yes.

I feel a little flighty. I can list the myriad advantages to living this kind of lifestyle, to being exposed first hand to the many and varied cultures, languages, viewpoints and cuisines, to having a narrow child's mind opened up to the wonders of the world, learning far more than school could ever teach, I could go on. What I don't seem to have is deep roots. I am still trying to decide if I mind this very much. The world is continually changing and therefore seems to me a great place to venture out into. What I want to know is whether or not I will ever really feel rooted in one place. Will my children have a base they call home, where they store their treasured memories until they have a home of their own? Is it important? Will 'home' be where ever we are or where ever they are? Home for me now is where I am with Sean, Shannon and Jordan. When I go to my parents (in which ever country they are at the time) the accessories are always the same. Those familiar things plus the presence of my Mum and Dad also feel like home. Perhaps 'home' is a state of mind?

I was chatting about this with a friend recently and this was the perspective I got: She is surrounded by 3 generations of her immediate family; parents, brother and sister, husband, her own children and her nephews. All in one province in South Africa. That is roots. She feels inclined to stay put. Our families, both mine and Sean's, are a little less sure footed than that - or perhaps more sure footed and therefore more likely to travel. We are strewn across the following countries:

Turkey - My Geriatric Gappers
Spain - Sean's parents
England - My sister, brother-in-law, niece, sister-in-law and nephew, uncles, aunts and cousins
Australia - My other sister plus various cousins
New Zealand - A cousin
The High Seas - Sean's aunt and uncle who are currently trying to decide where to settle
Zimbabwe - A multitude of aunts, uncles and cousins
South Africa - My brother-in-law, sister-in-law, 2 nieces a nephew, various aunts, uncles and cousins and, of course, my hubby, myself and 2 adorable children

This makes the world a fairly small place. We are mostly all in touch to one degree or another and so the distances between us blur a little. I do not feel inclined to stay put. There is the crime factor that sends me into a frenzy of Moving On, but that does slip to the back of my mind and I love my life. But I still don't feel rooted here.

I wonder if the next place will be the last stop? I wonder if Shannon and Jordan will feel inclined to travel the world as I have. I hope so. I hope they always come home and tell me about it afterward. Where ever that may be. After some consideration I think I like the big world to be a small place that I can wonder through without fearing it. But I will put down roots. Somewhere. Sometime.

More magic moments!

Shannon has learnt the art of Storming Off in a Huff. I am not sure where she picked it up from but when she does it it always makes me giggle. I can't help it. I try not to let her hear as I am well aware that it is very important to validate her feelings. I know I am supposed to let her know that it is OK to be cross, and to teach her how to process those feelings in a socially acceptable way. But it's cute. I can picture the teenage Shannon in 10 years time reading this and being cross with me for not taking her seriously. Sorry hun, I do, but it's too precious.

The other day Shannon had Stormed Off in a Huff and then slowly worked her way back to the living room in order to be closer to her favourite spot in the centre of attention. She had her back to me, sitting on the floor with her head in her arms, resting against the couch. I continued pretending to read a magazine while watching her intently.

After a while she sat up with a look of wonder in her eyes and said: "Do you know what we saw at school, Mommy?" "What did you see at school?" I inquired calmly. "A grasshopper!" she exclaimed. "What colour was it?" I asked. "Brown," said she "but I'm still angry!" After a second of glaring at me she returned to her position of huff and that was that.

It was a magic moment!

Here's another one:

There is a couple in our community who are both very tall. The gentleman must be over seven foot tall and his wife is by no means towered over by him. They are an elderly couple and so, luckily have many years experience of dealing with people looking at them in wonder. I am sure they have seen this before:

Sean, Shannon, Jordan and I were heading into a shop which this couple were coming out of. Shannon, as normal for small children, was not looking where she was going. At the last minute she turned round, looked up and said "Wow!!!" in a loud, surprised voice as she saw them in front of her. It was such an instinctive reaction that could never be re-enacted with such awe. All the other people going in and out of the shop, including the lofty couple, heard her and laughed. As one chap said, they're tall to us, imagine how tall they must be to her. Through the eyes and out of the mouth of my child! Oh to be 4 again, just to remember!