Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations

I recieved the following in an email not too long ago and I think the fact that I recieved it again this morning means it warrants some sort of permanence in my existence. I desperately want to be given the oportunity to use the well deserved title and hope that all you research associates, senior research associates, executive senior research associates and associate recearch assistants out there get the chance to use it too!

A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office, was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.

She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

"What I mean is," explained the recorder, "do you have a job or are you just a ...?"

"Of course I have a job," snapped the woman.

"I'm a Mom."

"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it," said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."

"What is your occupation?" she probed.

What made me say it??? I do not know. The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."

The clerk paused, ballpoint pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right.

I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't) In the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters).. Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom." Motherhood!

What a glorious career!

Especially when there's a title on the door.

Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations"

And great grandmothers "Executive Senior Research Associates?"

I think so!!!

I also think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants."

AMEN!!

A Risk to National Security!

Jordan is 3 months old...already!...and I felt it about time I put some effort into acquiring official bits and pieces such as passports and British citizenship, only to discover he does not qualify because neither Sean nor I were born in England. He is a baby. How is it possible that a BABY can be denied citizenship that a parent is entitled to? Not to mention it is the ONLY citizenship that I am entitled to!

Here are the results of my quest for information on the next step:

ME:

To Whom It May Concern:

I am a British person living in South Africa and my son has just been born here. I was not born in the UK and got my right to citizenship through my parents who were both born there. I have discovered that my son does not qualify for a British passport unless I register his birth before his first birthday. Please can you let me know what this involves, where I can find the forms and how much it will cost. Also, is it possible, and if so any easier or cheaper, for me to get someone in England to register his birth over there? My first child was born in England nearly 4 years ago and she, my husband and I all have British passports, so it is frustrating not being able to get one for my son!

I appreciate any information you can give me.

USEFUL ADVISOR:

Dear Sean

The child will not be eligible for a British passport unless you hold a Naturalization certificate, or can prove that you resided in the UK prior to his birth.Registration is no longer necessary.

ME:

Hi Barbara (I only know her name because it is in the email address)

What is a naturalization certificate and where do I get one from? What exactly do you need for me to prove that we were living in the UK?

Thank you
Jane

ADVISOR:

Dear Jane

Tax certificates, salary slips, utility bills etc proving you were living there for that period.

ME: (this time I decided to ask a lot of questions so she could just answer each oneand not have to think for herself)

Hi Barbara,

OK I can do that. Is there a form to fill in? Who do I show the proof to? Does it have to be all or any of the examples you gave? Can I email them? Do I have to do it before he is a certain age? How do I go about getting the passport once I have proved that I used to live in England? Can it be done from South Africa? How many months/years worth of proof do I need to show? Is there any other information I need to go ahead with this?

Thanks
Jane

ADVISOR: (I was a bit optimisitc it seems)

Dear Jane

These must accompany the application and send as much evidence as possible

ME:

OK Thanks
Jane

ADVISOR:

Only a pleasure

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What pleasure???? I knew more BEFORE she 'helped' me!

Other than this 'helpful' interaction I have spoken to a lady in Pretoria who has given me some different advice and looked at 3 govenment websites which also claim different things. This is what I have read/been told so far:

• I must register his birth in the UK

• That I cannot register his birth

• That he must get a visa and live there for 3 years to qualify

• That if I can prove that I have lived in England for 3 years he will qualify automatically

• That my residence in the UK is irrelevant

• That if I have a naturalisation certificate for my own birth he will qualify automatically

• That I must apply before he is 12months old

• That there is no time constraint

• That I must apply before he is 18
  

Anyone else got any advice that might be a bit more useful... I would GREATLY appreciate it! Or is my 3 month old son a genuine risk to national security?

AAAAGGGHH!

Right, I am on my soap box so beware!!!! Before I start ranting I would just like to mention that I LOVE living in South Africa, but that doesn't make it all OK!

We have appliances...electrical ones... that make life easier and more interesting in some ways, such as a microwave (mine can roast a chicken in 45 mins) and a TV, for those fleeting moments when there is something good to watch, among other things! Well, not any more! I lie, we still have them, they just don't work.

We are lucky, I am told, as we have a schedule to follow to know when we are going to be without power... how is that lucky? I pay my bill, I am therefore ENTITLED to power ALL THE TIME! AND I am entitled to working appliances...electrical ones...that are not blown up by a power surge when they switch it back on! I know, I know...unplug them! Not always possible for various reasons especially when you are out and they haven't mentioned that they are starting the schedule again!

The second complaint I have to make is to the weather man: please warn us when a HECTIC storm is going to be directly overhead targetting our house and specifically our modem, with the possible - thankfully failed - intention of frying Hubby to a charred crisp in the process. Yes, we have been cut off from the world for 4 DAYS!!! I nearly had a complete nervous breakdown!

Anyway, we at least have fixed the internet issue, now to find a new microwave and TV!

My third gripe of the day is that the petrol price is going up in double digits again tomorrow. This morning I topped up the just over a quater of a tank that I had used and what used to cost about R100 cost me R170 and tomorrow it will cost me EVEN MORE. Bread, which is a staple food for many of the poorer people in this wonderful country, cost around R5 last year, now costs nearly R8 per loaf! I am, in fact, going to refrain from ranting about the weakness of the rand as I have run out of Rescue Remedy!

I am told these are minor set backs and things are bound to improve, but surely this standard of living is no longer all it's cracked up to be! Surely somewhere else in the world we can find some of the good stuff South Africa has to offer without all the bad stuff... or is this just a case of greener grass in other pastures?

I remain torn!

Stranger Danger and other Areas of Concern!

At school and at home Shannon is constantly reminded about Stranger Danger. I find this topic to be an eternal minefield of 3 year old logic and adult inconsistencies! First let me ask this: how is it OK that we tell our children NEVER to talk to strangers and certainly never to accept things from them, and then at Christmas encourage them to go and sit on a strange man's lap and ASK for a pressie? As adults we can see the (slight) difference, but at 3, 4, 5 years old... certainly not!

My other dilemma in this issue is that I am trying to raise friendly, confidant and outgoing children and that means they need to develop the ability to talk to people they have never met and not to be terrified of them. Now, once again, as an adult, I can see that there are situations in which children can talk to strangers and times when it is wholly unsuitable... how do I explain the difference to Shannon?

Her latest take on the whole situation is that if she acknowledges that the person is a stranger it is OK, so whenever we go to the shops and she sees a car guard, for example, she shouts: "Hello Stranger Danger!" One feels the poor man needs an explaination, but where to begin?

Shannon also feels it is sensible to ask someone if they are a Stranger Danger, which sorta defeats the object, since if they really were a danger they would be vey unlikely to mention it!

The other thing that has evidently become an Area of Caution for us is Shannon's ability to listen to and repeat what we have said. There is a man who parks his car in our complex on the grass outside our neighbour's house. He does not live in the complex but feels his handbreak won't hold on his own driveway. We are asked not to park on the grass anyway as it has a bit of a negative impact on the quality of our front lawns. Sean said something about this, under his breath, when leaving with Shannon to go shopping and Shannon asked why he had his cross face on. So Sean told her that the man was naughty for parking on the grass. Not long after this we saw the man getting into his car and Shannon said loudly, as 3 year olds do: "That man's naughty, hey Daddy!" Once again... where to start with an explaination?

And, just because I am an overindulgent parent:
Not sure how to turn it so if anyone has any ideas please let me know!

Winter Weekend

If this is the onset of winter already then I am sorely dissapointed with South Africa's abismal effort at summer this year. Summer did not really arrive until mid January, then we had an unforgivably hot February (which was bliss if you were by the pool and more than a little uncomfortable if you were working outside!) followed by a week of the same in March and now, mid march, we are back to jerseys and longs! By my calculation that is a shorter summer than even Mud Island gets! And the weather is one of the reasons we live in this part of the world! Those reasons seem to be diminishing one by one! Ah well, anything to make The Decision easier!

This weekend, weather notwithstanding, has been funfilled and interesting. On Friday night we went, with the rest of the family, to watch Kyle perform in a play in Westville. On top of outshining the rest of the cast with his acting ability, Kyle wowed the audience with his singing. We are all very proud of him, none more so than Shannon. I was a little nervous as to how Shannon would behave at the play as it started at 8pm and finished at 10:30pm, so I made sure she had a late afternoon nap and supper before we left and then just had to wait and see. She was spellbound. Just my luck - with 2 kids in tow -they were filming that night and asked everyone to keep the noise limited to that of applause (!) This added to my apprehension somewhat but where Shannon was concerned I need not have worried! The one comment Shannon did make was to Sean:

Shannon: "Daddy, that's Kyle Hey?"
Daddy: "yes it is!"
Shannon: "But that girl called him Seymour" (!)

Oh yes, and she took the mick out of the 2 young men sitting behind us! They laughed... she copied them! They heard! EVERYONE disolved into giggles... giggles that may or may not mesh with what you see on the video!

Jordan was another story - perhaps because I assumed (never assume with kids) that he would sleep, as he normally does, at that time! Anyway he eventualy fell asleep and I spent the evening proudly watching Kyle... and Shannon!

On Saturday we went to Hilton to the Dedication of Noah Clulow, which was lovely. Despite the weather it was a fantastic day. Once again it was Jordan and not Shannon who couldn't sit still and poppet behaved brilliantly throughout! Who'd a thunk! Anyway continuing with the good behaviour, Shannon sat on the floor at Al and Susie's house, where we went for lunch afterwards, and played quietly with Noah' toys... and then packed them away afterwards when I asked her to.

From there we went to George's 'posi' to watch rugby and braai... in the rain... and that is were the wheels fell off! Running on the tiles outside Shannon did a complete wheels up and landed on her head! Children, being more resilliant than we give them credit for, seem to hurt less than we would under the same conditions, and other than a sore head she was fine...

After all the excitement of the 2 previous days, we spent Sunday pottering around the house! In tracksuits and slippers...in March!

Our very own Evil Knievil

Having not done the bicycle thing for a while in order to allow my frayed nerves a chance to recover, today we thought it would be a good way of expending some energy! So, with Jordan in the pram, and Shannon on her bike, we set off along 50 meters of flat road. Flat, that is, until the end where it becomes a Very Steep Hill.

Shannon was ahead of Jordan and me. She didn't stop at the end. Emitting a howl of dimay she went HURTLING down the Very Steep Hill. (We have still not mastered the breakes due to Being Too Small) Leaving Jordan in his pram in the middle of the road I took off at a sprint to try - in vain - to catch her before the inevitable happened - she had to stop somewhere - She then levelled out and narrowly missed hitting a parked car, instead heading for another Very Steep Hill. Once again, still howling and hurtling, she successfully negotiated the hill... then crossed the road (this is not as bad as it seems - we live in a complex and Sunday afternoons are usually devoid of people) and crashed into the pavement on the opposite side. The front wheel stopped right there, Shannon and the back wheel leapt with great agility over the front wheel, Shannon landed on her head in a bush with the bike on top of her. She has NOT A SCRATCH! There are 2 small holes in her helmet which would, presumably, have been holes in her head had helmet not been in situ! I gathered her up, still howling from fright - her, not me - and grabbed the bike in the other hand to get back to Jordan before someone ran into him - I know, sunday afternoon... complex... devoid of people... did I ever mention I'm a little paranoid?

We came home for some rescue (for me) and to swap bikes to the black plastic motorbike (for her) and went for a walk. Avoiding hills.

Bicycle is locked in the garage... have considered throwing away the key!

POWAR

Protect Our Women Against Rape

This morning was the scheduled court hearing for the rapists... we turned out in force! Hundreds of people drove to the Pinetown Court House for a silent protest against crime in this country. The support for Jessica was overwhelming, and it was uplifting to see how many people care and how many people are willing to at least try to make a difference. People held up placards and banners condemning rapists to the death penalty and calling for crime to be stopped, many people carried candles representing the need for peace in our country.

Hopefully we have set a precedent for the future for people to stand up visibly against crime, no matter what creed or colour, rather than complaining about it behind closed doors.

After the Pinetown court house, a great many people went back up to the Hillcrest police station where these criminals are being held and, with the use of a loud hailer, told them in no uncertain terms, in Zulu so there could be no misunderstanding, what will happen to them if they EVER get out on the streets of South Africa again. I think they messed with the wrong girl.

As for Jessica, I am awestruck by your bravery and openness in this terrible lifechanging incident. That this happened to you is devastating and unforgivable, and you must allow yourself to grieve, but your strength will help others to speak out and get help and that is something to be immensly proud of.

Our thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and your dad on the long road ahead.

NOTE ADDED: I was disgusted to hear that the event at Hillcrest Police Station turned sour and those who were supposed to be standing up against crime were harassing innocent passers by and causing chaos. This is NOT the way to make our point.

Jessica's Courage

This evening Jessica, who is the survivor of the atrocious rape incident on Sunday, spoke out on Newswatch on East Coast Radio. Her message was to all the other women who have suffered this heinous crime to speak out and get help. All the sick bastards who were involved have been caught and are behind bars tonight. There is irony in the fact that their lives within a South African jail will be afflicted by incidents similar to the crime they committed! My personal preference would have been a shoot out in which they were all killed, but I suppose we have to be grateful for small victories.

Jessica has shown amazing courage and resilliance and our thoughts and prayers remain with her, her father and the rest her family as they strive to put this devastating incident behind them and move on with their lives.

Violent crime

In South Africa we live with violent crime around us all the time. In theory the trick is to be alert and cautious and you will remain safe. The reality is very different. It can happen to anyone at any time.

In order to stay living in South Africa, one develops an ability to put the terrors of violent crime to the back of the mind, in order that we do not spend our days in fear of doing anything. This means that we live normal, happy lives in a beautiful country. Unfortunately, however, the high incidence of violent crime in South Africa ensures that it is never long before someone in our own circle of friends has their life changed devastatingly and forever!

Yesterday a young lady in our community was gang raped at gun point while out walking her dogs. Her father, who was with her, was held at gunpoint while the sick bastards committed this heinous crime. I don't know any details so won't elaborate any further. Even in broad daylight it is unsafe to go out and enjoy our beautiful countryside.

So how do we go on living in our country? To me the only answer is: we don't. I have heard all the reasons to stay...

Well sorry, here is my reason to leave:

I have to protect my innocent children and I feel powerless to do that here!

As we all know I am a paranoid parent, which means that while living here I am not inclined to stray far from home alone with my kids... some idyllic life eh? But what it also means is that really I should be afraid even with Sean around. I can live with all the other things that come with living in Africa... but NOT the violent crime.

Luckily, or maybe hopefully, I will put this fear to the back of my mind again where it will hover until the next incident, and I can go on living a normal, happy life in a beautiful country.

The young lady and her father who survived this ordeal, however, may NEVER be able to do that. To you and your family, the hearts and prayers of our community go out to you, we hope you get all the support and guidance you need to regain some normailty in your lives.

To everyone else, take care and be safe.

ME time!

I am one of those lucky people who really genuinely enjoys her own company. I really rejuvinate when I get to have a couple of quiet hours where no work needs to be done and the kids are in bed and... Hubby is out! The thing is I like it on MY terms! Selfish I know but I make no excuse, its called ME time so there must be a certain selfish element to it!

This week Sean has been away. Since Tuesday. ME time has become Missing Sean time. He is not back til tomorrow! OK so he is working... earning our keep...but that is not the point, ME time ought to be on MY terms! Perhaps it is because I have not had much adult conversation for the last 3 days... and I have so many many words to get out. Sean will have no input for a few days when he gets back, other than 'hmmm' or 'mmhmm' or just 'mmmm'. On top of having to listen to me getting my words out, he will also have to listen to Shannon. Yup, she is a girl so also has LOTS of words to get out... believe me!

Jordan has discovered that it is easier to sleep than listen to his sister jabbering on (not even I can get a word in edgeways with that little motor mouth around!) and though he chats to me it is sort of along the same lines as my prediction for Sean - 'hmmm' or 'mmhmm' or just 'mmmm' - as well as aaaarrr, which is his favorite word at the mo! The difference is Jordan has NO idea what I am talking about (not sure if Sean actually ever does either come to think of it) so I tend to talk nonsense and therefore do not really get my words out!

Shannon had her teacher in stitches yesterday. She told her teacher that she had a baby in her tummy:
'Really?' asked the teacher,
'Yes,' says Shannon sincerely 'would you like to hold it?'
'Yes please,' says the teacher
'OK' says Shannon 'Just wait a minute while I pop it out!'

Shannon and I usually argue about which shoes she should wear to school, I want her to wear practical ones that she can climb and run in, and she wants to wear her pretty ones. Argument over... the monthly newsletter has just told us that shoes are unnecessary - children learn through all of their senses and feet count for the sense of touch too - and just get lost! YAY (for now... will have to rethink in winter!)

Jordan now weighs 5.3KG and is 57cm long (can't really call it tall as he is horizontal not upright!) Not surprising with the amount he eats, but I am fast running out of clothes that fit him!

A messy business

This weekend was... um... interesting, to say the least. On Friday our septic tank packed up which left us high and dry (literally) as we were totally unable to use our loos, shower, sinks or washing machine. Thankfully, Sean's hospitable brother and family came to the rescue and gave us the use of their grannyflat. So we spent the weekend in Hillcrest which turned out to be very nice.

On Monday the powers that be said they would sort out the tank, so we came home intending to spend the day here, having showered at Dean and Tracy's before we left. THE SMELL was APPAULING... Sean went to work and I went back to Hilcrest. Thankfully in the afternoon we got a call to say that all was clear and we could return home. YAY.

On the way home yesterday morning, Shannon, who had just woken up when we left (it was 6am) turned to me and said, in a very sleey voice, "Mom, I'm old" I said "well done, Poppet", for want of anything more intelligent to say, and in order to hide my mirth, and Sean cackled with laughter in the front seat - Jordan has relegated me to back seat travelling which means we are girls in the back and boys in the front! - I thought it better not to ask, so we are still in the dark as to why poor Poppet felt so old.

Today Jordan is 6 weeks old so we are off to the baby clinic for his jabs! Poor little man!

The Hendry Correctional Centre for Wayward Children

Sean and I have become a little concerned over the volume of food our dear daughter fails to consume. For breakfast she has weetbix and generally does fairly well with that, then her lunch consists of a sandwich, a yogurt or cheese, and grapes or raisins. She usually eats half the sandwich! Supper is about a cup full of a wide variety of options from 'fun' foods to veggies! Whatever is on the menu takes between and hour and an hour and a half to finish and after half that time we end up feeding her! You can imagine the mild frustration as supper starts just after 5pm and finishes near bed time at 7! We have tried every trick we can think of to get her to focus better but to no avail.

SO.

Shannon now has a star chart. I have included on it things that she achieves fairly regularly like going to bed in her own bed rather than ours (!), and brushing her teeth before bed without being asked to (this activity is supervised), so that she can taste the success once in a while. Yesterday was day one. NO STAR FOR SUPPER. She did get the teeth, bed and this morning's breakfast ones, however, and is beginning to get the picture! I have roped in her teacher who will give shannon a butterfly stamp on her hand if she finishes her lunch which will then get her a star on her chart when she gets home. Amazing how important stars are to a 3 year old. Anyway, she also knows there are no treats unless she gets all her stars on first a daily (small treat) and then a weekly (bigger treat) basis.

I feel a bit like a tyranical dictator, everything Shannon does seems to have consequences in one way or another! Ah well, the theory is that strict parenting at this age develops well rounded, stable adults so here's hoping!

On a lighter note, this morning when we were getting breakfast ready, Shannon said she wasn't ready to eat just yet as she was still waiting for her supper to go down into her leg!

Big Girl Bike

On Sunday night Sean came home from some friend's house with a handed down bicycle for Shannon. Said bike is about 2 years too big for her - her feet are a long way from the ground - but it comes with stabilisers so it's not too much of a problem. Not to mention I though it would take her a few weeks to get going on it before she would get adventurous and so give her time to grow a little.

It was not to be so. After school on Monday Shannon asked if she could ride her Big Girl Bike. So, with Jordan asleep in his pram we ventured onto the road outside the house. Shannon climbed up onto the saddle and did the half peddle forward half peddle back thing that I was expecting, as I have seen it many a time before in other little first time bike riders. Well, that lasted about 5 mins with me running alongside pushing with one hand and rotating her feet with the other. (I am quite sure I will feature on one of those funniest home video programs thanks to my rather amused neighbours!) and then this happened:

As you can imagine I was VERY proud of my clever little cyclist! There is a down side, however... she hasn't got the hand strength to operate the breaks. So, though we live on a flat road, my nerves were shot as she kept turning round near the steep driveways... with NO WAY OF STOPPING before hitting a car or garage door.

Yesterday, she had her first fall... getting off the bike! Her feet have a long way to go and I think she got a bit tangled! So, having convinced her to get back on for just a little bit longer in order to rid her of any fear, we came inside for milkshakes (and a little rescue remedy for Mom!) to make us feel better!

Perhaps we'll wait til Dad is around for the next bicycle outing!

5 years of Happily Ever After

As it turns out 5 years of marriage gets you... a piece of wood! For 5 years!? For all that work??? @!*%*#@! OK I realise it can be somthing fashioned from wood, but really! Wood! I am torn, however, because wood is the traditional 5 year anniversary gift, but there is a modern one (wood is obviously not good enough for some people!) which is silverware! Now that smacks of commercialism, which is one of the main reasons I don't like valentine's day! If you love someone...love them!!! Don't save all your love up for one day a year and then show it through materialism!!! People will develop issues!!! hmmmm... hang on...go ahead and develop some issues while I study, and then pay me lots of money to sort them out for you once I am qualified!

I, however, plan to remain issue free (they are not issues, Vanessa, they are points for consideration) and stick to tradition. If wood is tradition then wood it must be. In this vein I have decided to give Sean a tree. I think a money tree. Strategically placed in the house according to the laws of feng shui of course! (I never said I was entirely free of the Material Girl!)

Happy Anniversary Sean, I hope we have 50 more together!

That's just crazy!

This morning whilst waiting til it was time to leave for school, Shannon assumed the role of comedienne to keep us all entertained. In her effort to hold my attention she was leaping round the room doing 'business' and her 'work' and I wasn't to touch anything lest I break it or hurt myself. (!)

So having leapt off her stool and over the tape measure, trodden on my foot a few times and done 'tippy toes', which she learned at ballet, she proceded to look me levelly in the eye and say: "but I mustn't do this" (vigorous running on the spot while growling and flayling her arms around) "because that's just crazy". I suppose the rest of it is really sensible when you are 3!

Another of Shannon's Sensible Activities is launching herself from the couch onto the beanbag. (we do not normally encourage jumping on furniture but this was too good to resist!) What is even greater fun is to have Dad lying on the beanbag. I am sure they have a name for this in wrestling circles:

Over the weekend Shannon got out her paints and asked me if she could paint her hands so that she could make colourful handprint pictures. This is one of her favourite activities so we set up the table outside and left her to it. It never occurred to me that she would be into body art, but here is the result of Shannon's HAND painting:

Now, because it is a well known fact that subsequent children NEVER get photographed as often as first children I am making it my duty to ensure that a million or so pictures are taken of Jordan to match the million or so we have of Shannon. - note to self: buy bigger hard drive!

Here is the little man at 4 weeks old:

This one's a bit mushy!

So 5 years ago this week I was laying down the final preparations for our wedding! The funny thing is that part of me feels like we have been together for forever, while another part can't believe that 5 years of marriage have already been and gone.

So much has happened since - we lived in England then, it was not my favourite place to live, but we still had some great adventures. We had a baby girl in June 2004, then 6 months later we moved back to SA, amongst other things we ran an art printing business together, later we both discovered our own career paths to follow, (we also discovered that we both like to be the boss so for our sanity we sold the business!) I have finished a year of a psychology degree and Sean has emmersed himself in the world of steel fabrication, and the latest development is the birth of our baby boy. And life continues.

What I know for sure is that the one thing we can rely on in life is change... as well as death and taxes!... and something that keeps me grinning smugly is the fact that I can rest assured that I married the right man because through thick and thin our relationship gets stronger and we grow closer. Our change has always been for the better! Our family unit is complete now with our big girl Shannon and baby boy Jordan completing the picture.

The thing I've noticed as our family grows, is that family traditions develop...all by themselves. I am a big fan of family traditions if only for the chance that when the kids are grown up they will be able to reminisce about the positive influence and grounding constant of family that shaped their childhood experiences. I come from a BIG family... let me rephrase that... a HUGE family, and we grew up around eachother, with family holidays and get-togethers which are now very fond memories for me and which positively influenced my perspective of families. That is not to say that families do not come with their problems, dissappointments and tragedies, but what I do believe is that encouraging a positive sentiment regarding family helps us to pass on to the next generation the importance of our closest relationships.

So that is my goal with my family. I will try to make their foundations strong so that they can live functional, happy and successful lives, when I get it wrong it will always be with the best intentions, and let's face it, though I come very close... no one is perfect!

I wonder where we will be 5 years from now?

Sleep what?

Night 3! Damn that growth spurt... right in the middle of my experiment! So Jordan woke up every 2 hours for a feed. 11pm, 1am, 3am and 5am. Roughly. Which seemed to me as though just as I was getting to sleep I was waking up again. So the sense of humour has failed again. Seem to be OK now but it is nearly the middle of the afternoon. Note to self: PLAN NOTHING when you have a 3 week old baby!

This is how my days usually pan out:

6:10am - groggily kiss Hubby goodbye as he leaves for work

6:15am - leap out of bed while Jordan is still content and dress Shannon, brush her hair and pack her school lunch (made at stupid o' clock by Sean before he left for work)

6:25am - tend to the screeching foodie who wants his breakfast, play plastic animals one handed with Shannon to distract her from distracting Jordan!

6:50am - put Jordan down and shower in record time

6:55am - get dressed

7am - tend to screeching foodie for second time

7:30am - gather things: 3yr old, 3 week old, car seat, school bag, check Shannon has shoes on (this is never a given even if we have put them on already)

7:40am - drive to school and drop off Shannon

8am - arrive home

This usually happens vaguely in this manner with one or two deviations depending on who is demanding what at what time. But, I am sad to say, this is where the military operation falls apart. Hence the note to self... just a reminder... PLAN NOTHING!

Yesterday I had a hugely productive day, I got most of a written assignment finished, chucked out a LOAD of junk (yes life laundry continues) that we seem to continually collect, tidied most of the house, did my 10 mins on The Treadmill AND tended to the needs of my precious baby boy, all before 2:15pm when I left to fetch Shannon from School.

Today, well, what you see is what you get. This post is the sum total of my day. Oh, except I did the dishes. My plan was to finish that assignment. Note to self: PLAN NOTHING.

Growth spurts and sleeping patterns

Of all the things I have to fit into my day, unfortunately blogging comes at the bottom of the list. It is a matter of sneaking off, as I have just now, with one little angel playing with her plastic animals and the other sleeping peacefully, for a little 'me time'! So here I am and I better be quick!

It seems that my little angels have syncronised their growth spurts! For the last 10 days or so Shannon has barely eaten a thing. Her lunch box comes home from school with half the lunch still in it, and the only other thing they get given is 2 marie biscuits in the morning and a yogurt in the afternoon. We then spend an hour trying to get a mouse sized portion of food down her neck at supper time and all the while wondering where she gets her energy from as it sure isn't from food! So, this week's a little different... no left overs! A peanut butter sandwich when she gets home and a tub of raisins at about 4pm. This is followed by a hearty supper of WHATEVER I give her... even veggie bake... with green bits (what is it with kids and green bits?) And Hyperactive Crazy Girl has turned into Sweet Helpful Angel (don't know if that is related but I'm hanging onto it as long as I can!) The only down side to all this is that since Jordan is ALSO having a feeding frenzy, it is exhausting keeping them both sustained at once!

Now, in a - perhaps vain? - attempt to get Jordan into a healthy sleep habit, I have moved him from his crib next to my bed to his cot in Shannon's room (Shannon was at least 3 months old when I dared to try this! She was also nearly 3 years old before she started sleeping through the night... NOT doing that again!)

The first night was a disaster! Jordan woke up every time I put him down and the 3 fitful hours I did sleep were sitting upright on the couch holding him! Imagine, if you will, the sense of humour failure yesterday! (Sean can help with details if anyone can't see it)

Last night, which was night number 2, we resumed the same sleep pattern we had before whch is 2 15-20 min feeds at around 12 and 4am... that I can handle...just. The only difference was that last night I put his crib in his cot and him in the crib! This is an on going experiment...watch this space!

OK 2 little angels are once again demanding my attention so I'm off... til the next time I find 2 mins to myself!

Same stuff different day...

...although in this case there may be developments!

Eskom. My second favourite topic. The mines are powering up again so back we plunge into darkness. Sometimes I am not sure if being right is a good thing!

My favourite topic? My kids! Ha ha, I love the pleasure of multiples! OK nuff rambling!

So today Jordan has slept... again...for ages! I am patiently awaiting the change from angel to devil with the vague hope that it might never happen. Somehow I manage to function on full cylinders with 5 hours sleep a night (the timing of feeds seem to get in the way of anything more)and today I got stuck into the second year of my degree. There is a LOT to be said for exercising the brain and it has left me feeling invigorated - if a little rambly. Why did that never happen at school?

Shannon is back at school today having suffered the joys of the first-week-back-bug which came in the form of a throat infection. Shannon LOVES to go to the doctor. I think she believes that the better she behaves the bigger the sucker she will get. So we arrived at the doctor and she leapt onto the examination table opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out! Luckily I had Jordan to busy myself with, so my uncontrollable mirth at the seriousness of Poppet and the game reaction of her doctor was, at least, conceilable!

Shannon starts ballet next week and SHE CAN'T WAIT. Now, I know she is my child... I still remember the pain of birth!!!... but this little girl LOVES to wear skirts, especially ones that spin out when she whirls around and she believes that ballet gives her the License to Whirl! I guess some things are just not genetic! So ballet it is! (I am also cunningly getting her involved in activities that happen AT school in order to postpone the agony of running around like a mad woman in the afternoons.) She has told me in no uncertain terms that I have to go and watch her doing ballet, but that I will have to hold Jordan as he is not big enough to join in.

Shannon is keeping everyone in check when it comes to her little brother, including me! Yesterday I asked him (rhetorically of course) if he would like me to change his nappy, to which Shannon replied "I think he said 'yes' mommy because that one's disgusting!" Honesty is, I suppose, a virtue!

Load Shedding!

Load shedding could mean many things to many people. To me it has 3 connotations:

1. Eskom should be fired (is that possible?)
2. Get baby out and shed that load! (This has been accomplished)
3. Shed pregnancy weight! (This is a work in progress)

So Eskom! OK for all of you listening to the news overseas, I understand that we in South Africa are making the headlines. Needless to say we are adapting to our 3rd World status and for anyone who thought South Africa was a first world country (yes, I have heard this said) YOU ARE WRONG. Eskom top Brass were paid R143 million last year... but they can't afford to upgrade our power supply... hmmm! They recieved bonuses in excess of R1 million each... but they can't afford to upgrade our power supply... hmmm! They recieve 'ghost shares' (yes that means more money!) from a company which is not even listed! But they can't afford to upgrade our power supply... hmmm!

OK so I have been told to be optimistic about this situation: "Not much will change!" I have heard. But I need to say this. Everything will change! What depends is whether or not one is willing to overlook the demise of South Africa in order to remain here and enjoy the standard of living we are lucky enough to have (albeit in the dark!), or to leave for greener pastures where one can use the electricity as long as one pays for it...

Not to mention this is just the tip of the iceberg... how does a country continue to develop and provide for its people without electricity? How does agriculture survive? (OK we can go back to the manual methods but production might drop just a teensy bit!) How does industry survive? (top 5 biggest mining companies IN THE WORLD have had a few problems with this question!) We can go on living like this but it's not really ideal is it?

I wonder if they'll let us host the soccer world cup in 2 years time when we have even LESS electricity... hmmm!

As for shedding a 3.86kg load... I am the EXTREMELY proud mother of a beautiful baby boy. His name is Jordan and he has slotted into our family perfectly! Sean, Shannon and I are so excited and loving every minute... he sleeps! A lot! YAY! Shannon seems to have been expecting someone she can play with so is, perhaps, a little disappointed that he sleeps so much, but I am sure she will be wishing for these days again when he is knocking over all her games when he becomes mobile!

The pregnancy weight... well... time is a great healer. I am being proactive about this and thanks to the mammoth efforts of my fabulous hubby and the kindness of in-laws I have a treadmill in my bedroom which I have used everyday since it arrived! (OK that's only a few days so far but since I enjoy it so much I believe it will be easy to keep up) I am also being destructive about it as I can't stop eating chocolate... best plan: STOP BUYING IT! Ahhh for a world without vice!

Jordan Sean Hendry

Sean, Shannon and I are proud and excited to announce the arrival of Jordan to our family! He was born 15 January 2008 which is his great grandfather's birthday - Great Grandpa Coughlan would have been 92! It is also my cousins son Kian's birthday! It is also the date that Jordan's Great Grandma Hendry passed away 2 years ago. He is obviously a very special little man to choose such a prominant day for his arrival for both his Hendry and Coughlan families!

Jordan was delivered naturally and without drugs in an hour and a half, under the highly professional and skilled guidance of my Midwife Cheryl and Doula Annie. He was born in the birthing pool and was so relaxed and content on delivery that he did not cry once. His cord was cut by Sean 20 mins after birth giving him all the goodness he could get from it! Jordan weighed 3.86kgs and was 50.5cm long! Sean was, once again, the perfect birth partner and, knowing how helpful and supportive he would be, we left the hospital to return home 2 hours after Jordan was born! This was an AWESOME birth experience for me and I highly recommend Cheryl and Annie to anyone wanting a Midwife and Doula to guide them through their pregnancy!

Thank you for all the well wishes and beautiful messages we have recieved via snail mail, e-mail, sms, phone calls, blogs, facebook and in person! We will keep you all posted on Jordan's development.

Any day now...

OK so true to form (based on my one prior experience) I am enough of being pregnant (that is a deliberate gramatical error, Mom, heh heh) and ready for this baby to be born now!

I know, I know, crying, pooing, sleepless nights, how can that be better than being pregnant? Well it is! It just is, so leave it at that! I want to be able to lift things, fit into normal clothes, fit into my shoes, not be preceded by a giant basketball of a tummy, bend in the middle (it is surprisingly restrictive not being able to lean forward to any degree), sleep on my tummy, get off my bed or a chair without back pain, get close enough to the sink to do the dishes (ok it is a great excuse to leave them for someone else but frustrating nonetheless), fit behind my steering wheel, open the garage door, walk without getting out of breath, climb up on Shannon's top bunk to play with her, sit on the floor to do puzzles with Shannon, and more and more and more that this physical condition prevents me from doing... but most of all I want to meet the little character who will be my second child! I want to hold and hear and smell and see my baby!

Ah and the other thing is... the thing that is keeping everybody guessing... will this baby be a boy or a girl? Actually it seems no one but me is guessing, everyone else seems to know! That's just freaky! One thing is for sure: it will be one or the other and Sean and I are excited for either result, there are pros to both options!

Last but not least... a name? Well, we are stuck on this one! Any ideas?

All in the genes...

Most people who know me know that my "little" sister Suzi is in a league of her own when it comes to ... well most things in fact! Here are some things we know about Suzi:

• She is super sociable


• She likes to laugh


• She is really blonde under that mop of dark hair... really blonde at times!


• She has a SEVERE case of itchy feet (the travelling kind as opposed to some nasty affliction)


• She is always shocked when she realises that someone doesn't think she is fabulous

I could go on in fact... but I have a point:

Here are some things we know about Shannon:

• She is super sociable


• She likes to laugh


• She is blonde.... really blonde at times!


• It would never occur to her that someone might not think she is fabulous

The distinctions come in due to a slight age discrepancy (for example I might be considered a bad mother if I allowed my 3 year old to dye her hair! And Shannon has not had enough life experience to discover itchy feet for travelling.)

Anyway, the main vein of this rambling is to mention that yesterday my dear "little" sister took it upon herself to leap off a waterfall into the Oribi Gorge attached to nothing more than a bungi cord (which thankfully was attached to something solid on the other end!) and which claims to have something to do with being the worlds highest swing! Knowing this did little for my nerves when it led me to think that in 15 - 20 years my precious little baby will be all grown up and persuing similar thrill seeking adventures of her own.

So how does one go about instilling a height phobia into one's children in order to protect one's own nerves from fraying? Or would that be considered child abuse? Hhhmmmmm.

What's in a word?

So yesterday a number of my fabulous family and friends gathered to throw a baby shower for me! Shannon was very excited as I had told her the day before that we would be having a baby shower for mommy and the baby in my tummy. She was sorely dissappointed. As far as Shannon is concerned a shower involves water and washing and getting into the water and being wet! There was - thankfully - none of that at said baby shower. No amount of explaining could covince her that the shower had been had, and that it was about being showered with presents and not water! Needless to say I was not flavour of the afternoon as I had promised a shower which Shannon had been denied! As for me, I felt very spoiled. Thank you so much Tracey V, Kim, Amy, Tracey H, Vanessa, Nicci, Heather and Vivian, you are all fabulous friends!

Luckily for me, the previous day had been such a success on the Shannon front that I had the powers of distraction at my disposal! Our local watering hole, The Meercats, held a Christmas party for kiddies! It was brilliant, and children who attended were thrilled with the whole event! Jill, the landlady, had organised a veritable kiddy feast, Santa came to give out pressies and Nicci entertained the kids (with great enthusiasm) while Santa was preparing himself! The weather, which for the most part was appauling, kept itself in check just long enough for everyone to play outside on the jungle gyms, swings , trampoline and jumping castle.

Shannon, as usual, managed to be extremely cute: while they were all posing for a picture with Father Christmas she, who was standing on the bench next to the man himself, gave him a kiss on the cheek and said "I love you Father Christmas, thank you for my present!"

Thank you Jill and Johan for a great morning, we will be there in support of any event that is held at your very welcoming and relaxing establishment!

MISSING!

In the interests of helping the community, I thought I would post this which I recieved courtesy of my dear friend Tracey. If anybody can help please leave a message on my blog:


MISSING

ROUND YELLOW THING USUALLY FLOATS AROUND IN THE SKY!!!
ANSWERS TO THE NAME ''SUN''
IF U SEE HIM TELL HIM IT'S F****** NOVEMBER!!!

That Nesting Feeling?

So, I have a MOUNTAIN of work to do on my house before this baby arrives. I have to sort out Shannon's room, to accommodate said baby. I have to sort out the study...so we can get into it! I REALLY have to sort out our bedroom...once again, so we can get into it! I figured the Nesting Feeling that comes towards the end of pregnancy would cover the Sorting that needs to be done... so far no Nesting Feeling!

It is not that our house is particularly messy, in fact it is fairly tidy and organised... on the surface. It is the underlying strata that has become a problem. I am quick to blame this on the lack of time that I have had due to exams but that, as an excuse for everything, is wearing a bit thin, so now I am beginning to believe it is because we have Too Much Stuff. Time for a bit of downsizing, I reckon. So, where's that Nesting Feeling that I need to help motivate me through this Very Necessary Job?

I am sure I will soon reach the stage where it will be too exhausting to attemp such a mammoth task. Maybe realising that the job needs to be done is all the Nesting Feeling I am going to get! Perhaps I better fall back on good old self motivation and will power. OK, so where do I get those again?

Ahhh Mommyhood...

There are some things that REALLY make being a Mommy better than being anything else. Since finishing the dreaded exams and "returning to normality", Shannon and I have had some real quality time together and it is BLISS (albeit a little exhausting if I HAVE to be honest!)! We have started making 'Christmas decorations', which invoves - for Shannon - cutting out Christmas gift wrap and sticking it down with glitter glue onto a piece of card, and - for Mommy - cleaning up the...erm...after effects!

Since the main reason for this post is to prove that Mommyhood is the best vocation EVER it would be remiss of me not to mention the end of year school thingies that make a Parent feel sooooooooo proud (and of course to add photos!):

Shannon at her Catrobatkidz Awards Ceremony - they got to show off some of the things they had done and they got a certificate and a medal. Shannon was obviously the cutest and best performer on the day and here is the proof:



We have also recently had School Photos. Now, I know that everybody says that their child is the most beautiful, cleverest, cutest or whatever positive out look they have, but who can argue with evidence... Shannon is TOP OF THE LIST!!!

The Return to Normality!

As it turns out normality is a bit of a state of mind issue and therefore returning to it may be a litte tricky given my current stage in life and pregnacy, and given the time of year. But nonetheless here goes...

So since my last post the ONLY thing I have been doing is exams. That does not mean just writing them that means being consumed by them every waking moment. A little obsessive you may think but that is how it happened. Sean was hugely supportive, and only once dared to ask if perhaps a little food shopping might be fitted in around my reivision since the fridge has been rather empty for the last month. He also wondered at one stage if perhaps I could do a little laundry as he was suffering from a severe lack of socks to go to work in!

Shannon, for her part, has become accustomed to watching DVDs every day when she got home from school to a point when she was VERY cross with me yesterday when I told her that there would be no more after school DVDs and we would go back to doing activities together. She is fairly amenable so I am hoping it will not take long to wean her off the dreaded TV! The best thing about Shannon during stressful times is that she tweaks my sense of humour constantly!

This is my little (Sean is the big version!) rugby fanatic all dressed up with "my African flags Mommy" all prepared for the Rugby World Cup Final! According to Shannon any game that she sees being played ought to be called rugby and she will happily sit and watch big chunks of the game if it is riveting enough!



I learned a very special lesson this week: Shannon LOVES to sing, so the other day the two of us were sitting in the car waiting for Sean to get something from a shop, singing at the tops of our voices! I had my sunglasses on and after a while Shannon cocked her head, looked at me sideways and said "I can't see you Mommy!" I took off my sunglasses and the look of pure happiness on her face made me realise just how important eye contact is when it comes to communication! My New Years Resolution for 2008 is to try to be a better communicator on ALL levels - not just talking, which I have already mastered through PLENTY of practice!

*snif*

Ok, what do we have to do to move out from under this cloud??? I can't even remember when I last saw blue sky! I am not, however, (for once) going to sit here and moan about the weather, for while we have been sitting under this cloud a few silver linings have appeared:

• My exams start today! This is a silver lining because it means that I will be one down and closer to finishing them!


• I am well prepared for my exams - I may have been less inclined to revise had the sun been shining and outside activities been possible!


• Shannon has decided she is a big girl, not a baby any more, and since big girls can do ballet and babies can't she ought to do ballet - when the baby is born (I added the last bit - we all need to save special treats for when our lives get turned upside down)


• Suzi has decided to make the most of her life at present and go to Argentina (this is good, not because she will be so far away but because it is sooooooo exciting)


• I am holding my own against Clare and John in the scrabble competition - OK not winning but at least coming close!


• I have had an article accepted for publication - and they are paying me for it!

The only bad things that have come of this rainy episode are:

• I CAN'T DRY LAUNDRY - please, please, please, just one day of sunshine!!!


• I HAVE A COLD - and I can't take ANYTHING for it... except lemon and honey toddies... without brandy... *snif*

Dirty Sky!

This morning the weather is REVOLTING! I am as happy as the next person for a bit of rain to soak the land over night... but does it have to stick around for days on end? And today, well, the mist is so thick around us in these highlands that those drivers WITHOUT headlights CANNOT BE SEEN!

Anyway I am, contrary to all normality in this weather, in an extremely good mood today, and the reason for that is Shannon. When I opened the door for her to go out this morning on the way to school, she took one look at the sky and said: "the sky is dirty, mommy, you have to clean it so it can be blue!" So I will just add that to my job list and try to get to it sooner rather than later... I wonder what one uses to clean the sky?

Ball-ie Paint

When I was about 10 years old I remember being told by my horse riding teacher that she was expected to Jump Judge that weekend and that she would love some company, if I would like to go along with her. I was both very excited and somewhat confused by this, first of all I felt very important to have been asked and, as it was a horsey activity, I didn't need to be asked twice, and secondly Judge, who was one of our horses was no jumper, so I had NO idea why we might be jumping him. As it turned out we were to sit near a jump on a cross country course and ensure that everything was as it should be during the event, hence jump judge. Anyway I feel that Shannon had a similar experience this weekend as Sean, his brother Dean and some friends had all decided to go Paintballing. Well, Shannon knows what paint is, and she knows what a ball is, but during one of her imaginary phone calls to her imaginary friend (this IS normal, she is 3) she said: "I am going to ball-ie paint today!" Not sure she had ANY idea what she was headed for!

Nonetheless, off we went to Crestholme Paint Ball where Shannon and I stood in the vague drizzle laughing at grown men and their children shooting paint pellets at each other and yelping in pain every time they got hit! It was great comedy - the men were gunning for eachother (no pun intended) and most of the girls just hid behind the shelters too afraid to move. Brad aimed a direct hit at Sean's head which has resulted in a wonderful egg, though at the time all you could see was pink paint. Everyone is covered in bruises and welts and I am not sure I see the fun in that! What I did see was some men, who prior to this had been fairly stressed by life in general, run around playing at war, and all came away full of humour and completely relaxed by the end of their session! So to all the wives and girlfriends out there - if your man is a little stressed send him out for paintball and he will come back laughing like a little boy at Christmas! Shannon said to Sean when all the fun was over: "Have you finished shooting all your friends Daddy?" I think we will have to teach her to add "with paint" into that sentence!

The perfect end to a perfect afternoon for Shannon was that she got to sit on a beautiful, tiny little pony - Shannon is OBSESSED with riding (no questions where she gets that from) and had been begging me all afternoon to be able to ride the pony. When we got home she said she would like to watch a movie and then promptly fell fast asleep. Hmmmm, I am sure Sean and I will be signing our lives away next year when we sign her up for proper riding lessons!

Shannon the Good

Shannon is three... and a bit...so expecting perfect behaviour from her is not really an option. She has, however, usually been fairly well behaved... until last week. For the first time EVER at school, Shannon was sent to time out... twice! I mentioned to her teacher that she was behaving in a very un-Shannon manner at home and the teacher mentioned her transgressions in the classroom as well! So we had a 'chat'. Yes, Sean and I actually had the 'D' chat with Shannon, you know the one: "we are very Dissappointed in you!' (I am inclined to believe that this particular word was actually brought into existence with parents in mind as NOTHING was more effective from my own when I was young, and in fact it is still the word I dread the most from the people who really matter!) Except that beacuse she is 3 and might misinterpret the D word as something good, we said it made us sad! Shannon said: "I won't do it again Dad, and tomorrow I will say sorry to Bronwyn" (the teacher) which she did... as soon as we arrived at school! Shannon has been an absolute PLEASURE ever since.

The upside of this is that 'time out' works VERY well for Shannon wherever she is, threaten her with it and she modifies her behaviour straight away! What it does mean is that while she is coming to terms with the new methods of discipline in the home, ALL her dolls and teddys have spent time in 'time out' too!

Long may it last as this seems to have made her into a much happier and more settled person... come to think of it, when I am feeling grumpy and out of sorts, I could do with being sent somewhere quiet to think about things too!

And now for something completely different... Shannon has just told me that she needs to 'pop quickly', and that her action man doll has a 'kigger' instead of a nose! What is that about?

Not a minor, nor twenty niner...

So, here I stand on the threshold of a new era... awaiting the next decade of my life experiences and adventures! To all those who have gone before me, well... you are older than me... but does that make you wiser??? ;) All those behind me, don't grow up too fast. Those of you going with me... hang on to your hair, this is going to be a great adventure!!!!!

For the first time in about 9 years I am excited about my birthday. Tonight Sean and I are going out to RJ's Steakhouse with my Mom and Dad to celebrate my last day of 29! Tomorrow... is the next day, and on Saturday my little sister is driving down from Jo'burg to party the night away with me! See you in the next decade!

Beach Baby!

This past weekend Sean, Shannon and I, along with Sean's folks, his sister Kim and her daughter Amy, headed off for a weekend at Shelley Beach. Having kept a careful eye on the weather all week so that we would know what to expect we set off for a couple of days of soaking up bennies (for those not in the loop, bennies are benificial rays of sunlight) As it turned out it was overcast the whole weekend, but as it was far from cold we still thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

Much to everyone's surprise Sean did not fancy fishing and I firmly believe our sweet Poppet is responsible for this! Shannon's favourite movie at the moment is Happy Feet, in which a young penguin, called Mumble, sets out to discover where all the fish have gone as there are very few left and those that are there are not enough to feed all the penguins. Shannon told Sean he couldn't go fishing in the sea bacause Mumble ate all the fish. "I will buy you a blue fish Daddy" she offered to try to cheer him up about this!

Shelley Beach is about an hour and a half down the coast from us and the sand on the beach there was washed away during that destructive storm we had a few months ago. This has left it looking BEAUTIFUL. The rocks are all exposed and they provided a very adventurous Shannon with huge entertainment as she clamboured over and round them looking for crabs and shells. Shannon was a little loath to put her feet in while Amy was fishing with a net in the rock pools however!

Armed with her duk (to prevent her hair from blowing away!) Shannon played and explored and dug in the sand for as long as she was allowed. She loved that beach and keeps telling me stories about it. I walked with whoever would join me and we all sat on the rocks staring out to sea looking for very elusive whales! This was a great weekend getaway and we are SO lucky to have it right on our doorstep!

We live about 40 minutes drive from the nearest beach and admittedly it has been winter so not really beach weather, but I am determined to take my beach baby down there as often as possible this summer.

Shannonisms

Last night after bath, Shannon and I were playing in her room and somehow got into an 'oh no you don't' 'oh yes you do' banter. It occured to me that she would LOVE to got to the Pantomime this year - if there is one in Hillcrest! So I said 'We must take you to the pantomime' Shannon said 'I've already GOT my panties on' (!)

One of Shannon's friends, Sydney, has given Shannon a pair of her shoes that she no longer wears. They are orange, with sequins on and Shannon ADORES them. These shoes are a little too big for Shannon still so she is not allowed to wear them to school incase she falls over them. So she made a deal with me: 'I will wear my orange shoes to school and then put my school shoes on!' which she did! Hmmm, our 3 year old can rationalise!

Big Sister talk:

Shannon put her ear to my belly button (because that's obviously the portal to this baby) as if it is a phone...

'Hallo? I'm Shannon. I got a skirt on. Ok bye!'

Shannon sits up and asks: 'Can I talk again Mommy?'
Mommy says 'of course you can'

So Shannon starts again. Well, this baby loves to hear poppet talking so everytime she lay down with her head on my belly button and talked to her little sibling, it kicked and punched and wriggled. So I told her that the baby was kicking me. She lay her head down on my belly button and said in her cross voice: 'Naughty baby, stop kicking Mommy!'

Now we tell her the baby is wriggling!

Come September...

Can you BELIEVE it is September already???? I am speechless (and let's face it, that doesn't happen very often!)! It feels like just yesterday that Sean and I were discussing whether or not we were ready for another child and now I am more than 5 months into pregnancy No. 2!

This September is a Very Important Month as it is the month in which I turn 30! When I have mentioned this before people have looked at me as if I am insane but I'll say it again: I am REALLY looking forward to my 30's! I am not greatly into symbolism of any kind but this new decade does hold some symbolic importance to me; you see I believe that with every year that passes we can all become better, more capable, mentally and emotionally stronger people and I have strived to do that with, I believe, a great deal of success. I became someone in my 20's and now I get to enjoy that person in my 30's. I feel empowered!

I am convinced that in order to achieve this sense of personal satisfaction, one has to draw a line between certain era's of one's life. During certain years we are influenced by different people (ie parents as a child) and from them we can take strengths and discard weaknesses and build on ourselves: take responsibility for who I am and develop the person I want to be. I see many people inhibited by the fact that they blame people in their past (such as their parents) for the way they have grown up. This makes me sad, especially since becoming a parent, as no one is perfect and most people do the best they can by their kids! In order to properly grow up and become a real person in our own right we need to say thanks to our parents for what they gave us and what they taught us, and use what is useful and disregard the rest, and not BLAME them for the people we have become, or curse them for what they didn't give us!

Mom and Dad you helped lay a great foundation for me that I have been able to build on to become the person I want to be. I am ready to tackle the 30's with vigour and happiness, while all the time building on ready for the next decade. I hope that I can provide that same foundation and insight for my own children!

To add to the fun of having a birthday in September, my three great friends, Tracey, Vanessa and Nicci, will be celebrating with me on the same day at the same party (we need 121 candles between us!), two virgos, two libras four friends! HAPPY BIRTHDAY girls, it will be a good year for all of us!

Exhaustingly good fun!

Yesterday Sean had planned to spend the day tinkering in the workshop with Mark, who is helping him out with his first big job in metalwork in the building sector. Since we know this family through Sean's brother, and they have a daughter not much older than Shannon, they invited Shannon and I at the last minute too. We went along and had SUCH a relaxing day. Shannon and Chelsea played like old friends, painting, swimming (I know it is winter but they were determined!), playing with dolls, watching movies (through which they didn't stop talking much to 7 year old Luke's dismay!)... ALL DAY. Lara and I lay on loungers in the sun keeping an eye on the pool and plying our husbands with coffee and hotdogs (Lara, not me, I was just LAZY all day!)

Shannon did not have her normal afternoon nap, and since she was playing so nicely I did not raise the question of whether or not she should! Having arrived there at about 10am it was a full day of fun and games (and sun lazing) by the time we left at about 5pm. Shannon was OUT FOR THE COUNT after5 minutes of being in the car! We stopped at Tracey and Quinton's house on the way home (to collect Spud... The Madness Continues - Thanks Trace!) and she slept through that - Shannon can normally sense other children in her vicinity and will raise herself from the deepest of sleeps to play with them... not this time!

We got home and I got her out the car and lay her down on the couch...ate supper...read Spud...wondered if she would wake up at 2am wanting breakfast having not had supper...took her to bed and SHE WOKE UP AT 7AM! 'Wes go make porridge Mommy!' was the first PEEP I heard out of her since leaving her playmate yesterday afternoon! If 14 hours of deep sleep isn't a good sign of a day thoroughly enjoyed I don't know what is!

Ladies nights!

There is an unwritten rule, somewhere amongst all those other unwritten rules that men are never privy to but expected to know, that ladies never breathe a word about what happens at Ladies Nights! So I won't. What I do feel the need to say is thank you to all the ladies with whom I sat last night and laughed more than I have laughed for a long time.

Such an eclectic mix of ladies cannot fail to amuse someone with a sense of humour such as mine and I failed to participate much due to the fact that I could not stop LAUGHING!

What is a little scary is that these ladies arrange trips away together once - or sometimes twice - a year (without kids or Hubs) to go off for some real UNSENSORED girl time. Now, judging by the stories from last night these are ...erm... really well behaved times where nothing interesting happens! (bother that rule!) And these ladies get up to the most amazing...erm...good behaviour! (there's that rule again!) What worries me about the idea of joining these ladies on one such weekeknd is not the...erm...boring well behaved-ness (!) of the whole thing so much as the fact that by the time it is over I will HURT! From LAUGHING! Not to mention they will NEVER ask me to join them again as I will lack input...because I will have perpetual giggles! Ah the dilemmas of a social life!

Anyway, thanks Ladies... I had FUN!

Bad days and the artful con!

So Shannon is 3 (and a bit) and has already managed to understand the art of conning (or attempting to con) her parents. This morning she woke up in A Very Bad Mood and decided that she would prefer not to go to school, so she told us she was sick. "I am sick, look I'm coughing!" *attempted fake cough*! Now, she has had a bit of a fever over the last couple of days which I am inclined to believe is something to to with being tired as there are no other symptoms! So the young lady VERY nearly succeeded in staying home today. (Note to self: investigate drama lessons for Shannon - she could be the next GREAT stage actress!)

Evil mommy that I am, however, I decided she would go to school and IF she was sick her teacher could call me to fetch her! I am the cunning one now as, you see, I knew that once surrounded by her friends and activities pertaining to school, she would forget all about being 'sick' unless there actually was something more to it. (If that were the case this post would once again be about guilt and bad mommy-ness)

I have just phoned the school to check up on my little angel and apparently she is playing at full intensity with no recollection of this mornings bad mood! I think, perhaps, she envisaged a day of watching Barnyard, though she would have been sorely dissappointed as that involves taking over my PC which leaves me at a bit of a loose end! Not to mention I could not have got any other work done as Shannon prefers to ask for something as I sit down! (I seem to recall driving my own parents crazy with the same trick!)

So round 1 to the parents - I wonder how long we will remain successful in this regard as young Shannon becomes older and wiser?

Personality tests and typos

This post is for anybody who attempted to take the personality test that I recommended on a prior post. The link I had was missing a letter and it took you through to a page of links... frustrating to say the least. Thanks to Bad Mommy for pointing this out, it has been corrected so PLEASE go back and take the Jung Typology Test (and any others you fancy).

Say what?

Bringing up children must be an art form of some kind as it sure is NOT a science! I am also sure it does not encourage Giggling At Cheekiness as a method of discipline! So an art I have NOT mastered yet then! Nonetheless I am determined to succeed in the end and feel that perhaps mitigating circumstances can be granted in certain situations. Here's one of those times:

Mommy (that's me): Shannon will you PLEASE sit on you bottom and eat your supper!
Shannon: (in her most angelic voice) Don't be so grumpy Mommy!

Well what was I supposed to do, notwithstanding the fact that Sean BELLOWED with laughter from the study, I could not help giggling. It's funny OK! Now, however, whenever I am getting a little on the stern side the little madam pipes up with a different version of the same thing: "Mommy's being grumpy again", or "Why are you grumpy Mommy?" Now, that little biased Mommy side of me thinks she is super clever and cute, the other always-a-child side of me wants to giggle... and then there's the art of bringing up children...hmmm...not sure that even amusing cheekiness is encouraged.

Shannon's other latest fascination is her grandparents, both sets! Paternal grandparents are known as Buddy and Grandma, and maternal grandparents are Granny and Grampa. Now Shannon knows what all these people look like but has managed to confuse who is called what. Buddy is easy, she's got him waxed, it is the others that cause confusion: Grandma gets called Grampa, as does Granny and Grampa is called Granny. (the logic here is that both girls must be 'Grampas' and the other is a boy so he must be the different one, and there is no distinction between grandma and grandpa)!) In fact she thinks that I am completely stupid that I cannot see this! Ah, well we will have them all in one place for a short time soon so perhaps she will figure it out then.

Hair today gone tomorrow!

No this is not a reference to Sean's increasingly sparse locks, but rather a mysterious compulsion that Shannon has recently adopted. When outside, Shannon is afraid that her hair is going to blow away! I first noticed this when we were at Amy's house a couple of days ago and Poppet was 'helping' to plant some flowers in a pot on the verandah (I am hoping to encourage green fingers and Amy's love of gardening!). She had her little hand clutched to the ponytail on top of her head and was attempting to dig a hole, for Amy to drop the plant into, with her other hand...needless to say this was fairly ineffective! I tried to persuade her to use both hands to which she replied that she couldn't as her hair would blow away! So being the indulgent mother that I am I held her hair on while she dug the hole!

I know it's wrong but it makes me want to giggle! She is so serious about it!

Shannon left for school this morning clutching her hair again, so I dutifully phoned her teacher to ask if she continued to do this at school, or if the distractions of friends and fun took her mind off it! She does it ALL THE TIME WHILE PLAYING OUTSIDE! Once again the overwhelming urge to giggle at my poor daughter's compulsion! - am I really such a bad mother??

Anyway I have concluded that she must have a bandanna of sorts to hold her hair on so that she can play outside with confidance and security that she will not become bald (a hat would be easier but perhaps not so meaningful to her!)! Funny child...where does she get these things from? Hhmmm...does anyone know of any kiddies movies in which someone's hair blows off?

Introvert of Extrovert?

I have recently discovered that, contrary to popular belief, I am an introvert. (You can STOP laughing now!) Yes, this outspoken, sociable, talkative, self confidant individual is an introvert! Sean introduced me to a fabulous mag which he noticed hiding on the shelves of a newsagents; I was feeling nauseous thanks to Stig II and he wanted to spoil me so he bought it for me. Now there is no going back. Needless to say, it is this mag that pointed me in the direction of better self knowledge with the personality test at http://www.humanmetrics.com/. As it turns out I am an INFJ which stands for Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judged (it is not a sentence it is four words that describe me!). The fabulous Vanessa pointed out to me today that perhaps the 'Judged' part would better be described as 'Discerning', but who are we to rewrite what the pros think is just perfect the way it is?

As it happens introversion and extroversion base their true definitions in where one derives one's energy from. For example, I am self driven, I derive my energy from one on one with me, though I thoroughly enjoy the company of others, I HAVE to have 'me time' to recover afterwards and sort my over-stimulated mind out; other people (and I am related to a few of these) derive their energy from other people and they need to be surrounded by people at all times to feel energised and happy, these are the extroverts! So... take the test... you may discover something that surprises you! Whatever you learn it can only make your life easier as you begin to understand yourself better!

Oh, and if, like me, you don't believe the first test because it tells you the opposite of what you currently believe...take a few more...ALL the personality tests I have done in the last few days have said I am an introvert! Right - I am off for some 'me time'!

Daddy's Girl!

When Shannon was born Sean was the first person to hold her, he named her and he cut her umbilical cord - at least he was supposed to but sometimes I wonder if it is still attached! Since then Shannon has been wholeheartedly and obsessively a mommy's girl. Anything that she needs doing she calls me "Mommy, I want milk please" daddy gets a glass of milk... high pitched wail of indignance and refusal to drink said glass of milk ensue. Daddy is heart broken, Mommy gets cross with Shannon, Mommy pretends to refil glass, Shannon drinks milk! (I am thinking of changing my name from Mommy... to erm... something she can't pronounce) If Sean tries to help her with anything she flat refuses and will sit waiting for me to come and help her. Occasionally I think AAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHH! but for the most part I LOVE being the most important person in someone's life... BAR NONE!

Times Have Changed.



Shannon is now wholeheartedly and obsessively a Daddy's Girl. The umbilical cord has switched allegiance! WHATEVER Daddy is doing Shannon finds it IMPERATIVE to her existence to be a part of it... 'washing' the car, 'working' in the garage, doing puzzles (Shannon's favourite pasttime), talking on the phone (Poppet can imitate Sean to a T in this) ANYTHING that Sean is doing Shannon wants to do too. When she wakes up after her nap she asks "Where's my Dad?" If they are having a standoff - this happens occasionally as both are fairly headstrong individuals - and Shannon loses - this also happens regularly as at this stage Sean has more practice - a distraught wail declares "I want my Daddy!"

How do I feel about this? I am still wondering. There is a HUGE part of me that can't get over how CUTE it is, they have such a strong bond and that is a beautiful thing to watch. But what happened to ME being the most important person in her world BAR NONE? Ah well, I couldn't think of a better person to share this special little girl with than her doting Dad! And I couldn't think of anyone I would rather share my special man with than our adoring Daddy's Girl!

And then there were four... watch this space!